blah... u guys are great.. i love these things cuz i actully find other people that have the same mental issues as i do... not bad mental issues... stuff that i think that other people dont have.. it makes me wonder sumtimes that im the only one that stuff happends to but in the end im not.. and this made me realize that... n e ways i found out yesterday that my old friends i used to hang with we used to go to this one doods house name shaun.. he is like 30 but he used to always buy us alcohol but i never drank cuz i didnt feel very safe... in matter of fact yesterday i found out that my friends that i used to hang with over there got really drunk and shaun kept giving them drinks until they were past out and then raped them.. various times.. which is horrible... i feel weird just knowing that i used to hang over there.. im so glad that i had a bad feeling about staying over there... if i didnt listen to wut my head told me i could have been one of those kids that are now broken... its really fucked up... me and shoobo are doing good... its been 29 days sence we have been going out.. i really like her alot.. i would never do n e thing to hurt her and i would never want to put her in a uncomfortable situation.. make her do stuff she doesnt want to do.. sumtimes i get depressed thinking about if we ever broke up... sumtimes i get scared for myself... not in a bad way.. but i mean i always lecture people about bad stuff even tho sumtimes i do it or it happends to me.. i dunno i feel like im 2 faced... i leave for flordia in t-minus 5 days... im so excited.. i think that maybe this vacation will be good for me.. to get away from people.. just incase im getting on peoples nerves or people are people are becoming cabin fever with me.. i defently dont want that.. i dont want things to ever change from wut they are right now.. im the happiest ive been in so long.. i forgot wut its like to be happy until now.. i used to think that i was happy but now i kno that i really wasnt.. but now im happy and strong.. i feel better then ever.. and im on my way to recovery... you guys are great... comment if you would like... later all