so its been exactly a year since ive written in this thing. i come back with new views and many new experiences. one year ago i was hurting...hurting so incredibly bad and i can see it from my entires. im happy to say its not like that anymore and its better than ever. in the past year ive gone through friendships, injuries, death, graduation, cheer teams and arguements. senior year does something to you, it makes you bond closer with your true friends...and causes some people to fall through the cracks and lose touch with who they really belong with. all i know is that i miss the simple days when you were little and nothing mattered. now im gonna have to start a new chapter of my life. i wish i could say im going off to a four year university right away...but im not. i wish i could say i got a cheerleading scholarship...but i didnt. but, i can say that i am doing exactly what i want to do and i am happy. im staying here in the desert and attending COD for the next year or two and then transfering somewhere. im back on mavericks senior elite advanced level 5 team which is kicking my ass. and im still working and just saving, keeping myself on the right track. staying out of the drugs and excessive partying. althought i have to admit ocassionally, i love doing that and i have...but nothing like my sophomore year dont worry! to tell you the truth i still dont know what i want to do when i grow up. from lawyer to real estate agent to interior designer to crime scene investigator to make up artist...im 18 and i have no idea where i wanna go. i thought i did but im just really confused. because i wanna get my associates degree no matter what just to have it. but i realized, if i wanna be a make up artist or real estate agent...i can just go straight to school for that....but i dont know if thats what i want to do. and i dont know how to figure out which one i want to do. lsjdflskdjflaskjfd help! part of my plan is just to win the lotto so i can sit in my amazing house in newport with my mercedes and just lay on the beach and go to the gym all day and then just be able to play the rest of my life...but i know thats a far cry from whats really going to happen. my mom has been driving me nuts lately. yeah my freedom is more there but she has just been making me crazy with all this bad stuff she has to stay about my relationship and how i dont know what im doing. i know perfectly well what im doing. she just thinks its too serious and that if i ever wanted to i wouldnt be able to get out of my relationship. and well, i really dont have a reason to? so why try and find one? so i can go out and fuck around or what? i dont understand where shes coming from. i know shes just watching out for her daughter and i can understand her saying this kind of stuff if i was in a bad and unhealthy relationship...but im not. im in a perfectly happy loving relationship that gives me space. so i really dont know, i try to stay out of those conversations with her. anyway...im gonna go rest b4 cheer kicks my ass later. ***to my friends who are still on this thing...comment me or something! kim i miss you! -krystyna