I'm in an odd state of mind after these last few days. Got hit hard with some more family problems and drama's. Its been rough. I really wish my family could crawl out of this hole of dispair we've been in for the last six years. It's exhausting and un-fair. I hoped the divorce was a step in the right direction, and maybe it really could be. I wish it would just end either way. And soon. This is rediculous. How could one family endure so much shit? When this first started happeing, I thought to myself "God, could not possibly exist, if he causes us so much pain and suffering, for no apparent reason." When it started looking up I thought "Somthing is out there. Somthing." and now I'm back to "God does not exist." If you exist god, I hate you. Harsh you may say, but I mean it. Off to hell I go. Anyways, I'm in a very odd state of mind. Not happy, not sad. Full of infactuation and lust, and yet hollow and empty. It's all very confusing to my poor head. I'm having a censory overload. Speaking of feeling, the orthodontist left a long peice of wire on my right last bracket, and it is causing me severe pain, and ripping my cheeck up to shreds. My left back molars also are screaming in pain. I don't know what that woman did, but it hurts like a mother fucker. I wish Dr. Rykiss WOULD have had the time to take a look. Stoopid other patients. Paul, if you read this ever, you were right about Eric. (I just had to get that out. It's been eating away at the back of my mind for weeks...lucky for me, he might not ever read this...) Two weeks untill I'm done at the academy. Fuck. Where does the time go? I mean...we only just got here... I got a practicum secured. I'm going to HankFM. They seem super nice, and the man who is in charge of me also dislikes country music, so I am not alone in this. I get to try a little of everything, and he told me he might get me in with the morning show! MORNING SHOW! Fuck I'm lucky. I think I'm going to enjoy this. I'm also going to miss my new friends from ABC. I hope we stay in touch. Le sigh. I told you my emotions were all fucked up. I need to get on a path to normal-ness again. How the fuck am I going to manage that? -- Abnormal...but we knew that.