ok, so let me explain this one situation. ..5 summers ago i met him...and i thought i was in love because of the feeling i got when i was around him and it was just so....amazing. i have only seen him once though and i was sumpposed to go and see him this summer it fell through. i was talking to him online the other day and like, he sent me these two songs, silverchair- miss you love, and digital love by daft punk. all the time i have known him e has been hiding because this one time we were talking when he sent those songs i asked him, have you ever wanted to just send someone songs to express yourself, and he said thats another issue i dont wanna talk aobut and thats kind of obvious. i have been single for 10 months now, and i really want a boyfriend to commit myself to, and when you feel like you are in love for how ever many years, thats really hard. i have tried so many things to go see him and its nearly impossible. well then i asked him why did you send me those songs. he said thats another thing i dont want to discuss. i said you do miss me and love me dont you, he said dont, and you know what.... he does because just at that time i knew he started crying with the name he put as his display name... today i had a breakdown and i was about to steal my moms car and just drive there although his mom hates me, my brothers and my family think we are related and just everything seems to thig we are two negative magnets when i just know that everything happens for a reason and god has my faith in his hands!! about a year ago i lost contact with him and i went onto this website myspace, this girl stephanie wanted to be my firned and what do you know, she was my friend....so maybe it was a message form god? i know it sounds korny and sheap but really think about it because now we are talking about him missing me and he has NEVER admitted anything that deep and i never saw his sensitive side. i would give an arm and a leg to see him and trust me, i have thought of the pain and i have thought of the disabilities i owuld have and i am willing to take that risk just so my heart and head would be hapy and happy with a reason and so i could smile and truly mean it. wow...i wrote a lot... i really miss him and words cant even describe. you know, my most often dream is my knocking on his door and just starring at his face and kissing him in the rain...isnt that ever girls dream? but mine is differnet because i actually know what his face looks like, ever detail and his lips and his eyelashes and its just so sweet and i just miss him and i wish i could tell my family how much i do but they wont listen to me. me as a perfectionist should know how many run on sentences and mmistakes i made in this entrie but i am just so caught upp in my day dreams i dont seem to care.... i miss him and thats what im gonna end on.......