so heres the deal for today...made 2 dessers for a band party that i am probably regret going to because i don't even know how to have fun and just loosen up, and last party i went to i was sitting in the corner writting the whole time. so somebody tell me the defintion of fun please? my past is a wreck. i tried killing myself 2 times and it really sucks now because i have all the scars to deal with and i look at them every day and regret not being able to see him...if i saw him none of this would have happened. if i knew how to have fun and get him out of my mind this would never have happened. someone get me drunk and stoned please so i can never think of the pain my body feels. i have never drank...well once when i was 11...and that was a SIP of vodka...ooo...so bad...i used to smoke...ciggaretts, not weed, i never had weed or any other drug so somebody come to my rescue and take me away and show me how to have a good time...please? i havent had a boyfriend in 10 months and im so lonely and sad...i have the experience of like, a 22 year old and i want to just go out and have fun, but i just....dont know how.... -.- ~*sigh*~