Yup. Another day another nothing to write about. Oh wait, i just thought of something. (Heh, got a little disoriented while SD was down, every time something happened i wanted to go write - fun fun week its been) Warning: Hints of parent bashing - those with issues on this sorta thing, kindly get over it :) I see myself as a pretty quiet person. Not really *shy* but not *talkative*. That, and i dun like talking to others in general, save for a few notable exceptions. The usual chorus of "Hello, how are you?" gets real monotonous real fast. It feels like i'm in a trance all day long for no good reason, kinda in my own thoughts and stuff ya kno? When someone talks to me, i get broken out of this trance and it feels weird. I don't like it. Thats why sudden noise scares the living tar outta me. That's also why i like coming online and typing stuff like this, i KNOW what sounds are around me. I hit a key, theres a click. Simple ne? Someone else says something online, i know that i will see what they have to say, but that i won't have to hear some associated noise with it. Going to bed the same thing - i know what's coming; sweet silence. Waking up though is different, i hate mornings. My alarm goes off at about 6AM (which is when i'd LIKE to get up). And it scares me outta bed. Damn alarm. Oh wait, thats what they're supposed to do -_-, so then i go to sleep again untill about 7, upon (you sitting down?) my dad comes in at a completely random time and announces at the top of his lungs "BREAKFAST IS READY!" And they wonder why i act so cheesed off in the morning? We went out to eat tonite, and i can see my quietness bothers them, so they were saying stuff like "Be a little sociable, talk to people" and i responded with "Sorry, i just don't like talking that much" Upon which i pratically got laughed outta the room. I talk to my folks some, heck more them than to (almost) anyone else. But, they just don't see what its like to be in my shoes. Hell yeah i'm lonely - but who ever said that's a terrible curse? I've only known one true companion in my life. Quite a while ago, and that person ended up ditching me (dun ask why, i'm not sure myself). Her voice didn't break me out of my trance.. it blended in quite well, i could understand her. Thats how i knew we had something. But this was 2 years ago (for me, an eternity) - and it was completely unbeknownst to my folks. The only contact we had was when i could get out of the house for a walk or something, we'd go down the street and chat a bit, went to a movie with her once - but thats as far as it went unfortunately. She ended up ditching me with the words (they're still burned into my mind) "If you can't deal with a few interruptions - then you can't deal with me" Where she came up with that, no idea. Too bad.. we were becoming quite close friends. So here i am again, no *true* friends. And like i said, that's not terrible. It doesnt bother me as much as it would other folks probably. I said it before, i'll say it again: Reality sucks. Forget that crap. Ja Ne. ~Tsukasa "Quiet Time" Karuna