To yo.U... i think today is when everything started to hit me... what the hell am i thinking? youre the first and only person ive ever loved...and im willingly letting you slip away from me... why? i guess its because i know that no matter how hard i may wish for it, no matter how much i might beg and plead for it...you will never be mine. and maybe someday, ill be able to accept that. maybe someday, i'll be able to meet someone else, and move on. i just wish the journey from here to "someday" didnt hurt so fucking much. you know, i never used to believe in love at first sight... then, i saw yo.U. you were wild and different, you were so totally unlike everyone i'd ever met, so unlike me. i completely hated myself back then...maybe thats why i was so attracted to you. you were everything i wished i was, everything i never could be. you were everything i never knew i always wanted. but everyone told me to give it up, that i could never have you. hell, even you told me that. perhaps thats another reason i wanted you so much...i always seem to want what i can't have. i guess they were right all along...you never were mine, and you never will be. i guess thats something im going to have to make peace with. im sorry im not good enough for you. im sorry i let you down so many times... and im sorry i tried to tie you down. you belong to the world, and it was wrong of me to try to keep you for my own. please know that i only did it because i love you...and i thought that maybe, just maybe, someday you could love me too, and you'd settle down and be happy with me. i guess i thought wrong... i just hope you know that i will always love you. please, dont ever doubt that. but i have to let you go...you are not mine,and you never will be...and it hurts me so fucking much to know that you are right there, but at the same time, completely out of my reach... i have to let you go... just dont think that because im not there it means i dont care. i'll always care... and if anything ever happens to me, dont cry for me...i'll be better off. i hope we get to choose our own heaven...because if we do, i know where i would go back to the night of august 19th...back to the time when we were lying on my bed...to that moment when i gave you my necklace with the inscription "Real Love is Forever" and i told you i loved you, and you kissed me... except in heaven, it wont it wont last a moment...it will last forever, the way it was meant to. but until that eternal moment comes...i guess this is good bye.