I messed it up. I messed everything up. And now you want me, but I don't want you and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. But I can't do this, I can't hold on this long, and I hate what we've turned into. We don't talk ever, at all, not about things that really matter. What happened to those talks, the long ones? Did we ever have long ones? Did I want you because you were something new? Did I want you at all? I don't know. And all these questions keep swirling around my head, and you're always there, and you want answers, and I'm hiding from you, just like I hid from him, for the same reasons. I don't want this anymore. I don't want you. You were my best kept secret and you're my greatest mistake. xoxo