I cry all day thinking about what had happen...It happened once and i thought that this time things would be different but again i lost what I wanted. Things are like they used to be. Im home and alone, i see outside my window but all i see are my thoughts of my lost. I ask myself why but i know the answer. It feels strange that I, me, can't have want i want so my ppl say. I would have been a mother but i guess it was not met for me. TO have the joy, love, care, and the life of parent hood in my life. Tears on my pillow, my eyes almost dry from all the crying.