i think more and more about what i believe in every day. i don't have a stable religion, and i'm not sure what i believe either. today my mom dragged me to church again. i didn't really mind because i find it all quite funny actually. i made jokes in my head and sang along to the songs. obviosuly my heart wasn't in it. my momns friend toby was like begging me to go into his brothers highschool group thing and like i said no for the longest time and i finally gave in because church is soooo boring. and when i walked in he like screamed my name and everyone was like "hiii rebecca" and i was like "uhm hii" and so i sat and listened to this guy talk. at the begining he asked if anyone wanted to say the first prayer and this guy said he wanted to. when he started to talk, he sounded a little off, but i just didn't think anything of it. he went on talking to his higher power about how much he cared about his family and his ill grandma. i just sat there listening and taking it all in. then the youth leader, who i thought was very cute, started talking about the four Rs and stuff, but thats not important in this entry. so a little later they handed out these plan things on reading your bible. and you were supposed to write down [for yourself] how often you'd like to sit and read the bible. and the kid who said the first prayer said, "josiah, i need some help" and obviously the youth leader didn't hear him so i heard the guy next to him [who seemed like he was a little bit full of himself] say, "hey budd you need some help?" and the other guy asked him how to do the plan paper. and the guy told him, and was helping him spell the different words and he was being so nice to him. it made me want to cry. it was so sad that the kid was mentally chalenged but the guy next to him was so nice, and it made me like really happy. when me and my mom left to go pick out her wedding dress, i was in the car and i told her the story and i just started crying. i felt so, tingly. i realized that some people actually like care. i don't know why it affected me like that, but it did...