i still love you sd. its truly been the longest amount of time since i've been on here. just think i started this way back in 9th and 10th grade and used to be upsessed and now i hardly ever use it. to think of how much has gone on during this diary. wow. way back then i used to be so stupid and boring and a freshmen. now i'm a senior and am giong to france in 2 days. i just cant seem to believe it. i have one last term and i am done with highschool. my boyfriend comes home for a week next month. everything is flying. i'm having fun and enjoying things but does it fly. which actually is kind of a good thing cuz all i am looking forward to is the summer. i hope your still around when i'm really old sd as i'll want to read you again someday. i love my marine!

sitdiary has not been working well and i must add that it is very super annoying.. fix it dude!! i feel so lost right now.. theres a lot going on.. pretty sure i suck at doing my gold award.. and the play and soccer and just everything.! seriosly.. i still love you sd even if you suck right now.

if only you all new the truth about me and sd.. yesterday was the 8th again. not sure what to think of the day.. dont know what i would do without sd.. might i say.. pretty sure school sucks.. pretty sure im a super duper loser and have like barely any friends.. for sure i dont have any at school seeing as they really dont care... basically i could sit in a corner and be learning the same exact amount of stuff.. maybe if i grew up that way.. i'd be happy.. not saying i am not happy or am happy.. lets just say i try and hide my feelings from the rest of the world.. maybe that could be it.. as of like this week i've basically just wanted to be a graduate and first year in college.. i hate highschool.. dont get me wrong it does have its good points but now i just kind of want to leave willmar.. top of my list i think is scsu just cuz i dont want to be far.. for my own reasons.. but then again those reasons are changing.. i dont know whats wrong with me.. maybe i have cooties.? im ugly? eh.. maybe.. i smell? for a fact, not a question, i know that im really stupid.. no person has to tell me that answer.. i just wish i were smart at some things.. uh blah. whatever i dont know why i am even writing in here.. stupid jorge. i've had you for so long.. it will be weird to look back at all of my entries on sd.. its so weird.. goodness.. i wonder if sd will be around still by the time im thirty or forty.. i dont want to wake up one day and find that its no longer here.. i think i would probbaly cry.. it would definatly be one sad day.. just like how everything is disapearing now.. i dont even know who i am anymore or what im feeling.. not sure i really want to.

just to say ive updated. yesterday was the 8th..

no one ever goes on here anymore.. i do to say.. 11 months this sunday!!!!!!!!!.. right on easter.. since he wont read this.. should i get him something.. i need to think fast.. ah wait.. its easter.. it would be easy to get him something.. maybe i should ask if i can set up something for him.. like an easter hunt that day.. haha cute. i love my boy!!!!!!!!!! through thick and thin.. no one can stop us.!

just to write.. sarah and i went and looked at my prom dress yesterday i would have to say i think she liked it.. she wants to go look at one on monday.. shes so cute.. i cannot wait for prom i want to dance with my eric.. and eat and have fun.. and post prom yea i cant wait for that either seeing as lik eyou get free amazing stuff and ahh!!. pretty sure i really want to go to that.. well that and the fact i think mom might have to be there.. she is on the post prom committee at least.. just like me except im on the prom committee.. yea its fun i love it so much me and jess are gonna have an amazing wall.. although there isnt to much to put on it but ya know.. i wonder how much room the dance floor will be taking up.. i guess once we paint it we should lay it down and check it out.. i want to paint it soon so bad.. uh you have no idea.. ah.. and on tuesday i think we have another meeting.. it makes me get so excited every time we go there.. ahh.. it will be a blast

9 months today sir.. and a few days ago it was sarah and chads 1 year.. yeah Happy ANNIVERSARY darling.!

did my random good deed of the evening.. although probably isnt always smart to do.. but i gave a girl a ride home.. guess the risk of taking a stranger home isnt to smart but its a chance i took and im still alive.. she lived in the trailor park by lindsey.. i was like uh ok sure.. and yea but whatever.. my good deed.. i love you all.

8 months happy anniversary sweets.. 1 more month for sarahs year with chaddy poo.. love you sweety!!

so last night went and chilled with chelse it was pretty fun we were gonna watch a movie but we just talked and listened to music and youtube on the computer instead.. break was ok lot of fun with erica.. family got annoying and it was way to long.. but all in all it wasnt terrible.. today me and eric are goin to st cloud i dont know really why but were eating at red lobster so it will be fun.. i guess i might be driving too so he can sleep as he worked last night.. mm good stuff as its his car so it should be fun.. yesterday we were goin home from the hockey game and eric thinks hes funny and passes me and then was like goin fast.. well just so happens a police officer was goin the other way and like pulls over turns around comes behind me turns his lights on and we both pull over but he goes in front of me to get eric.. and uh i felt bad.. but.. but.. eric has a "clean" record so he didnt get a ticket.. even though the guy clocked him goin 20mph over the speed limit..silly boy.. well good day to you all.. im gonna be getting off here now.

If you grew up in the 90's you've gotta read this THIS SHIT IS SO TRUE.................. Anybody under the age of 13 should not read this,...and if you do, you should not repost this. Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if: You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, and Two Stupid Dogs. AAAAAAAH real monsters. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE!" You just cant resist finishing this... "Iiiiiiin west philladelphia born and raised..." You remember TGIF on ABC. Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World. You remember when, 2Pac and Selena died. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps." You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not... You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time." Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Captain Planet. He's a Hero. You remember when super nintendo's and Sega Genisis became popular. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny. You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders." You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS. When you were grown up when you turned 7, cuz you could watch are you afraid of the dark because it was tvY7! You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember when Mortal Kombat Was "Da Bomb"! You remember eating Warheads.(those sour candys.) You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies. You remember Ring Pops. You remember when POGS were the coolest thing ever. You remember drinking Fruitopia and Surge. If you memeber when every thing was "da BOMB" When they made the new lunchables so that you could make tacos and pizza!! You remember "boom boxes" vs. cd players Writing M.A.S.H. notes. (and the twenty different versions of that.) Making those little paper fortune cookie things.. and then predicting your life with them. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell" You haven't always had a computer...and u lived without the internet. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers,and Ninja Turtles. You had a favorite New Kid on the block, and you knew all of there names Michael Jordan was a king. Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff! All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.) You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out. Growing Pains. Carebears and The Gummy Bear show. Gak was the coolest thing invented. Lambchop's song never ended. The old dollar bills. Silver dollars, were cool to have. You remember a time before the WB. You collected all the Troll dolls. You owned a portable tape player. If you even know what an original walkman is. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" ... enough said. You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" You know the significance of the number 23. You went to McD's to play in the playplace. When we were younger: Before the MySpace frenzy... Before the Internet & text messaging... Before Sidekicks & iPods... Before MIKE JONES... Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX... Before Sponge Bob... When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans. When 2Pac and Biggie where alive. When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever. Way back... Before we realized all this would eventually disappear Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

so i never really right in here anymore to like talk of my day.. basically just events i guess. mm today was pretty boring.. went to church came home put supper in oven did papers came home ate amazing supper and eric lovely joined.. then went to kmart and bought gifts for like salvation army or something and then uh went to nativity it was not that bad it was sad and actually i really kind of liked it just because like it really makes you realize how like much belief there is behind god and jesus and im at the point of not knowing what to believe.. but that movie was quiet amazing.. its so interesting.. uh gosh i would never want to be in such a position as mary had to be in.. i possibly really understand of what all happened.. i dont know why but sometimes i never really get things until there like literally drawn out for me and put in front of my face.. theres so many things i never ever hear about and then later i get asked about it or we'll talk about it in studys and ill be like yup i had no idea.. such as the holacoust i think i first heard about it in like 8th grade in vieanes class... just to hear how pathetic things rule out on my part.. uh im not gonna keep going on my stupidity.. well then yea then we went to jcpennys tried on a sweater didnt like it..and left and now im here and i took a shower too i guess.. hmm our anniversary was splendid we went to sarahs and just did about nothing which was eh.. but we had fun yesterday i think much more it was more of the "celebration" as eric also didnt work yesterday so.. yea.. love you all.. almost merry christmas which might i inform you.. i will be in california for christmas.. what will eric do without me lol.. poor sweetie.. ok done.. again.. love you all!

it is our 7th anniversary tadaaaaaaaaaaa!! i love you my little sweetie pie. i love erica to she is so cute..

gonna be our 7th quiet soon.. sorry i have not written for ages cuz there is no time for me to write and like right now when i can wright there is nothing to write about britany anderson is goin to the mall of america..! me eric chad and sarah are having a cute movie night tonight.. yeah i love sarah.. what a cutie.. thats all muaaaah!

6 MONTHS.. HALF A YEAR..

im home alone.. and i shouldnt be.. im afraid.. im 16 and afraid of being home alone.. the boys are out.. and making a ruccass.. and im scared.. uh eric could have come over for like 20 min but no i was at school.. doing the project that is due tuesday that is not ever gonna get done. great and its worth like half of my grade.. yeah. it was a good day until i came home.. or well when i got that text and was mad at myself for not being home.. but oh well i guess i couldnt help it.. we didnt do anything anyway but whatever.. ill do some now if i even can.. and its so gay though we have 1 day left this week to work on it and we dont work on it at all in class which is totally unfair.. uh cuz casey wont show up so me and chels were like well we'll just do it and she like gave us this look like she was mad and were like its due tuesday and someone has to do it.. its like she doesnt relize how important it is to get it done.. uh fricken dumb. i dotn want to be here alone.

so today is work on grandparents anniversary party day.. or at least till eric comes over so until about 5 or so.. yes but i will finish slide show movie and then work on scrapbook as we only have a little bit of time.. last night was ok at jess'.. lots of drama as usual but i was being at my best as im not getting involved in any of that kind of shit.. me and britty went upstairs and discussed her boy.. it was interesting.. ahh britty was there.. lol i hugged various amounts of times.. i guess like after i left steph and jess went up to jess' room and justt king of left the party when it was jess' party but oh well.. i think jess had liked her presents.. i hope she liked her party i guess. i guess i dont really know if she did or not.. it was ok.. but again kind of a bit of a drama fest.. but i enjoyed myself i guess.. muah eric is done at 4 or like 4.30ish yea.

so mm this whole morning ive had nothing to do so basically just have been thinking.. i guess one of my most common past times. thinking. what happens to little girls when they grow up.. girls with no confidence.. find confidence within friends with similarity of the same thoughts.. they find wierd things.. wierd boys.. and do things that older woman do.. they live happily with there friends by there side.. they always have ppl to turn to.. they dont really change much in there looks but they do try to be pretty.. the ones that dont find there confidence have friends but just dread on there low self esteem.. i personally think they need to get out of it and grow up and relize the things that are beautiful outside of there thoughts.. and relize there are ppl there with them that they can enjoy life with if only open there eyes and think of what they truly have.. then theres the ones without friends that have no confidence as well.. and they hide within everything.. they dont have anyone to tell anything to they hide in there thoughts they dont talk to others they dont have friends they dont change much there thoughts are terrible and only the worst of things.. they let ppl throw them around.. idont know if they can change.. like i cant see a person just pulling out of such a matter.. they need to find confidence and friends.. more then likely they need to get out of highschool as soon as they can.. they need to find there futures and achieve them at there best they need to find something that they can apply themselves to.. example the two girls at lunch.. i feel bad for them.. alana and myself think of them often.. and sadly sometimes we laugh at them just cuz they are funny.. like yesterday the one girl was talking to her italian dunkers.. but the worst of things was when we went to the commons and they were sitting on the couch.. and they dont talk to each otehr like ever and the one was drawing and they said some stuff and then these boys came over and sat on the couch and made them move over and over so far that they were barily on it anymore.. and they just let the boys push them.. that is why they hate life.. because they just let jerks do that kind of stuff to them.. which makes those boys target them even more.. and the day before the girls had saved a table by putting there stuff on the table cuz its always so had for them to get a table and anyway the girls drawings were on it.. and then me and alana went and put our stuff on a different table too and like went and got lunch and when we came back the girls were still sitting at there table but all these stupid preppy girls sat there too and there was drawings on our table.. later the girls went and threw there stuff away and we did like right as they were coming back and it was the girls drawings.. like the preppy girls took and threw the drawings on our table.. these girls are the ones i feel bad for i dont think they should have to go through highschool hiding.. i wonder what there parents think. girls with confidence.. have friends.. theyre are the ones who exceed by being super smart and have friends they care about there future and thats what they have to think about.. they are pretty and will lead succesful lives.. but what if they dont. there theres the ones who are good at school but they care more about there confidence and boys and how good they look.. they go through lots of boys in school.. they are small and skinny and good at lots of things especially attracting boys.. and its always the boys with confidence and are also best at everything.. the worst of these types of girls is when they think that they are better then everyone else.. and they think there life is already planned out they can just have there looks get them through everything and if that doesnt work there is always daddys back pocket these girls dont have to work or do anything.. they think by getting some panzy job will give them a reason to say daddy doesnt buy anything for them and that the are poor.. trust me we all know your hiding it and no one cares.. also i hate when these girls get emotional just because uh ken broke up with me.. shut up fucking barbie and go to your fucking whole in the ground where everyone likes you becuase your fucking shallow.. i must say that the good thing of these girls is that they do have confidence even though looks and money definatly give them the opportunity for there confidence but they do have it and they have lots of fun and make life enjoyable they live it up to the fullest.. example.. the girls who moved the other girls' stuff.. i honestly cant say i know what i would put myself as.. im not smart.. my family doesnt have money that we can waste on luxery.. i do have to work for things.. i have friends that i think care.. ive lost a lot because i am not with them often as i dont have classes with them.. im close friends with new people and i also have a friend again that has found someone else.. then theres the other one who has practically left us.. it almost seems like things are falling apart but they arent.. because i wont let them.. every year i have a trouble getting through the winter.. but this year i have confidence.. i have eric.. i will get through it and dont want any trouble.. i sometimes wish that some of my older friends talked to me more often.. i wish i didnt have as many problems as i did last year.. i wish that things would have been a bit different last year.. i wish that i wouldnt be such an ass after i get sick of people.. ive done it quiet a few times.. i hate how fake my old friends can be around me to why is it so hard to be yourself you dont have to show me anything.. honestly i only care for the truth and your happiness.. my friends of success.. eric- amazing at being eric.. brings me up makes me happy.. is my best friend gives me confidence.. and is always there for me.. theres so much to do with him and have fun no matter what it is.. just bein in his prescence makes me happy. he is a hard worker and works for everything.. has goals and sticks to them until there totally done.. loves his car and improving it.. wants a firebird and will probably get it.. because he wants it.. but he doesnt have to ask his daddy to buy it for him possibly help him but not make daddy pay for it.. he will do it himself.. he has found his new favorite thing which is make apple pie and rub it in my face that he made it and that it is the best pie and no one elses is better which adorable.. which is the other amazing thing about him.. he can be the cutest thing.. he has the cutest expressions and is always looking cute.. he can always make me laugh.. and i suck at tickling him.. sarah-gone. i feel so far away from her but i know its not her fault i love and miss her so much as i never ever get to see her.. i dontknow what she is like right now.. i dont know what she is up to half the time.. all i know is that she is in swimming and has chad luckily there for her.. i call and talk to her as much possible and wont let her go.. i only look forward to doing hockey cuz she will be there.. other then that i really dont want to do it except for the games.. she is an amazing swimmer.. sarah is my other best friend.. she stays by my side.. and sadly to her me and alyssa seem to be her only friends at the time. alana-almost gone. she has changed so much she has been the recent one to find someone else and be totally changed by there personality.. she cant even hang out with us half the time because she is already committed to someone else.. but i still love her even though were not her true friends.. jk.. even though she did honestly say that to us. alana sits with me at lunch.. just me.. and just her.. it almost makes us look like theother two girls except we talk and have stories and so much in life to share.. alana has cool colored hair and seems as a very artsy person i wonder if she is good at drawing i guess i wouldnt know.. but we have ceramics together 3rd term.. she gets paranoid when ppl hear us talking.. grant-sometimes is my savior.. he always makes me laugh.. and whenever i did have problems last year he stuck by my side.. and even though he and eric have differences i relize that and deal with it.. i cant stop what they think of each other.. grant has found trisha as well and seems happy with her too.. grant is an amazing singer and good at acting he is very talented.. grant and i always have things to share.. i share every secret with him i think which there isnt much i guess but i share my thoughts with him.. but sometimes can be bad as i nkow he tells everyone everything.. except i dont think he does with mine.. he keeps it to himself. jessica-i feel far from her.. i dont have music with her anymore.. even when i did though i guess i didnt really get to talk to her much except in colorguard where we had lots of fun.. its so wierd to think that last year we were so close yet this year we seem so far.. mostly because of last year.. last year we did so many things in like october and november and last summer but things all went down hill im excited for having ceramics and french with her. her and i can be trouble together for teachers and any other group of things with a leader we seem to be able to take control and be bad lol.. were cool.. she has recently lied to tanner about her having a boyfriend which kind of saddens me.. its funny but it kind of saddens me that she has to lie to someone who only treats her nicely and then in return they have to feel bad. joanna-has always been a friend she is amazing at taking pictures recently she has definatly found a good art.. she is a sweet girl.. she is always having a crush and its cute.. like last year during french.. and she is always really pretty she is cute in her own ways and has a bit of her own style.. she likes the simplist things which is so cool.. she can find things that you wouldnt think of and she has a big view on life.. in what i see thats what i think.. she has a nic for making little things that coolest thing.she also likes good green tea. chelsey and kenny- are cool they like the stangist things sometimes little kid things.. chels and i talk of our boys together all the time she is silly i love her kenny used to not like me but i think he does now.. which is cool cuz i hate when ppl dont like me and im sorry if you dont i guess.. but you must really not know me if you dot like me.. sam johnson-is the coolest person in the world she is so funny and makes e laugh i hug her almost every single day.. and she has a best friends key chain with eric.. sam and i used to be friends when we were like in elementry school.. so its cool to be her friend.. i want to eat pband j sandwiches with her sometime cuz her grandma used to do that all the time. lindsey- is sams little sister i remmeber hanging out together when we were younger it was the coolest of things and its so wierd to see how much she has changed.. i love bringing back memories of there dads house but they never seem to add any cool memories.. so i figure i will just stop as itmakes me feel stupid.. lindsey i strangely can think of her laugh its the one thing that sticks out.. its funny.. just like her i guess.. Bailie-my long time friend ive known since forever.. if you want to know someone thats always been there then this is your girl.. i love her to death we've recently been able to do more stuff together.. which was awesome.. its so wierd to see her grow up with me.. but apart from me more so now.. but its still so wierd.. its wierd to think of how much she has changed but then again how much she still is the little bailie ive always known.. little billie bob.. who we always used to say was forest gump sounding and asked me to come ova to her hause.. haha it was cute.. i think it will be even wierder when were older and she has little girls running around just like she did.. it will be cute.. and thinking of bailie with boys.. haha its wierd.. haha little billie and boys.. haha.. and she is the best to play dominos with. theres ppl i conclude as friends but dont have much to write of them. plus i dont know if im concluded as there friends so im not gonna make a fool of myself and put them on here.. as these ppl should know im there friend but i guess if they dont feel the same way then i guess they dont sorry to them.. this is huge.. dont read it.

so ive relized no one ever comes on here anymore.. and no one ever comments anymore.. uh just so everyone knows im still and will never get over the fact that eric may not come as he has the night off.. gay.. uh i would have to explain everything and i wont as its not that big of a deal im just basically sad that i have to be somewhere else when eric has the day off and will be stuck doing nothing while im off with friends.. its totally not fair.. jerks. he's a cutie though.

so last night was pretty fun so yea.. eric came to the wedding thing to.. looking pretty cute in his work shirt.. what a cutie.. ahh and we got to do a slow dance it was cute.. your all jealous i know.. but yea then afterwards.. we went to my house and made fudge.. woohoo.. it was pretty amazing tasting.. i must say i must say.. again you are all jealous..mm and then i felt like a retard cuz he's like lets eat at goldan palace tomorrow and i just wasnt thinking and im like why tomorrow.. and he'sl like cuz tomorrow and uh.. duh.. today is our anniversary.. in which i did know i just wasnt thinking about that being why we'd eat there cuz i was more so thinking about how full im gonna be cuz ill have pizza at 3 and then hotdish at like 6.30 so i will be to full to eat there.. but yea so today is our anniversary.. and he works.. and i have soccer thing and church potluck.. so its gonna be lame... but after i will see my sweetheart.. and i dontk now what we will do but it has to be something cute.. i was thinking of pickin up a scary movie.. because i hate them.. lol yea that makes sence.. lol anyway.. i might be getting an actual phone tomorrow.. a cell phone.. a 40 dollar plan for students at midwest it sounds good as to what dad says about it.. but i know he has a terrible memory.. so who knows.. i will find out tomorrow i guess.. but yea i hope i get it cuz i want it.. but then eric might be getting a sprint phone which would be ok i dontknow.. i havent really heard the plan and stuff but like then i wouldnt be able to have free in calls with him.. that would make things so cheap but uh i think i still have texting anyway but id ont know how much i have to pay for it.. uh i just want a real cell phone.. happy anniversary.! muah! i love you.!