i have a feeling im going to become obsessed with this sitdiary crap. this is my 3rd entry in like 2 days. why do people always try to hide how they feel? i mean i guess im not one to talk cuz ive gotten so good at hiding my feelings. i have trouble differentiating between good and bad feelings. everything sort of blends together and the other day i found myself crying for no reason. i hate when people tell you something and then they act a different way. when theyre like "oh youre really important to me" blahblah and then theyre off doing god knows what with god knows who and theyve forgotten all about you. it kind of hurts. again i go unnoticed? its easy to get noticed when you fuck up. i think thats the only reason im ever noticed cuz if theres anything that im good at, its fucking up. trust me. I'm left wondering why people flirt when they have no intentions other than friendship. and again, im left feeling hypocritic and stupid. but still. if you have told someone you dont liek them, why carry it on by flirting?.. i just dont know. Friday night was..very informing. lol. thanks to ryan i understand why guys do some of the things they do...or then again, i understand why ryan THINKS they would do these things. and oh yeah, cant forget mike. he was ever so helpful. haha. i realized. at one point in time, we are all left asking ourselves "who the hell am i?" and what exactly ends this phase? i couldnt tell you. let me know. this entry is pointless. just like everything else. life is pointless. so all our lives we go through all the hardships and heartaches and we work SO hard just to do what? get a job, a family, and a house? and then what do u do with those things? well lets see, at your job you work and stress out. then you clean the house, yet again work. and then the family, oh lets not even get started with that. so i ask, what is the point? we work hard to get to another level of working hard. yes, that makes a lot of sense. wow. im done.