well...its frikin early i guess...but this is normal for me. its now 3:31. usual. so today was pretty.blah. i didnt do much. i went shopping with my mom and stuff. she bought some stuff for the house and what not. she drives me crazie when she shops. she goes back and forth im like damn just pick something. i put a shitload of music on my ipod. well like 240 songs. thats a shitload compared to what it was before.so i got the song called toast and bananas from blink 182. it has nothing to do with toast and bananas lol. yea. i actually went swimming tonight. for the second time since ive lived here. nice. bryant kept me company. sort of. haha. gosh ppl can never be there can they? so why do ppl wait until they dont know what theyre saying to tell you things? why dont you just tell them. i do the same thing. apperantly i let out a lot of feelings when i dont know what im saying. but yes...idk. i never thought it would hurt so much to have someone yell at you. but i guess i just care about him too much. so many people have asked me why i care about him so much and i really cant answer that question. i really cant. wish i knew the answer, but i guess i dont really need to know why, all i need to know is how much i care. and that is more than anyone could ever know. wow... so off to other things. i guess my new task is to learn to play bass. and to actually learn a song on guitar. i mean i CAN play it. like i would know what im doing because..well duh lol. i have one and took the class. but yeah. dont mess with peoples feelings and use them for things. its mean. lol. yea so dont!...pwease :D so... how do people become so important to me? its like...i meet them and theyre such strangers and then a month later...i dont know whats happened. i like it. yet i hate it. yay so bryant is going to wake me up one of these days. i love when ppl wake me up. its like...starting your day seeing someone you care about a lot is good. except for the fact that i look like shit..but what can u do? i mean i usually look like shit anyways so i might as well look twice as shitty in bed right? right. some good advice is to go with the flow. but what happens when "the flow" takes you the wrong way? what happens when you shouldnt go the way things are taking you? can u stop it? i dont know. but it would be nice to be able to choose your feelings. but then what if u pick the wrong ones? but then again, you could make sure that you dont feel liek shit. wow idk how i come up with this stupid shit. well i guess im off to bed even though im not tired. i slept until 12:38 today. and 1:00 yesterday. i dont like sleeping so late. imma put my alarm for...11:00...yeah thats good. goodnight <3