I think I really fucked up this time... My heart makes it so hard for me to follow it. For some reason, it always chooses the hardest things for me to do. I craved for the first time again in months the other night. I don't want to break down and do that stuff again. It's hard not to though. "My skin rips like paper." I love that quote. It feels so great, I love it. Everything is still sitting right where I left it next to my bed, everything I need. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully stop. I never make a promise like that, simply because I have no idea what the next day will bring, or month, or year. I don't make promises I'm not sure I can keep. It's my fix, without being a drug. My temporary relief from anything I can't get away from... It's my temporary relief from myself.