i been thinking about him alot lately. i prolly should have never written him that letter. hes like the best and worst thing to happen to me since i been alive. for that i will always love and hate him... hes someone that will never completly leave my life no matter how hard i try to force him out. everyone says give it time.. things will fade... well ive given it time... 2 yrs of time and ya know what.. im sure i still love him as much as day one. im sure i would still give to him my life if needed be. I HATE YOU. but i love you. ill never understand this. never. why after so many years.... were you my one and only? is my chance to love, like i love(d) you, over. were you it? god i pray not. how could things get so fucked up along the way? couldnt we be normal, and i just forget about you? is it not possible... god please dont let him be my one and only. please prove to me that there is SOMEONE out there that i can love as much if not more then him,.., please dont let him be the one. he is the biggest part of who i am and will become. its always been him. and i know... i know ill never let him go.