I miss the old days, even though my friends were back stabbers, my boyfriends cheaters, and i never knew if i was comming or going. Everything was new, all the experiances. the first heartbreak, the rush of ding something wrong, the anticipation for another day simple because i never could tell what was going to happen. When i look back, those were my most miserable, yet absoultly thrilling days. Suddenly its like the "thrilling" died. I dont get excited at the notice of a man starring me up and down, im petrified to anything wrong, i have no dreams, no hopes, and every day is the same routine. Where is my wonderfull crazy intresting life gone? Is this what it feels like to grow up? is this going to be the rest of my life? I feel as if im dying. Being pulled by an unforseen and still invisable undertoe. I cant breathe. If i cant breathe i cant live. Im dead inside.