I'm constantly trying to find the root to my problems. I question myself daily like a psyhcologist would. but the other day I had an epipany. I think that my problems boil down to the fact that everyone thinks of me as so great, but I really have no power, I am weak, and nothing like people think of me. I keep looking for my vocation, something innate, but I can't find it, I really can't. Sometimes you look to hard for something, that was right there in front of youself, because you assumed it was somewhere else. Maybe that's my problem, or maybe I am just hoping for some aesthentic, intrinsic miracle. I think about the future, and I think about my career, what I want to be, is not something I can be. I want to teach, I want to save, I want to touch, I want to perform, I want control, I want to be demanding, I want to be benevolent, I want to be powerful, I want to be happy. Maybe I'll just be a vagrant. When you're single, you always think about how wonderful being in a relationship is, and when you're in a relationship, how good it is to be single. I wonder what's wrong with me. I'm attractive, I'm positive, and I'm scintillating, but everyone is so blithe to me. Maybe it's because I use to many vocabulary words?(how else would I remember them though?)