I dream about escaping, escaping my emotions, my fears and my anxiety. I dream about sober nights, empathy and everything in between. Friday, I worked. watched a movie. should have gone to a party, but didn't. I would be sober, everyone else would be drunk. I would try to move pass conversations, and they'd try to move pass their slurs. saturday, I worked. got paid. spent most of it. at least I saved some of it this time. cried. wished. hoped. lost 10 pounds since christmas. drove. c'est ma vie. elle est mauvais maintenant. at least i have a good grade in french. ____ You try to hide it, but I know. You try to deny it, but your friends know. We try to ignore it, but we'll always know. You don't know it, but I count them. You try to hide them, but I always find them. I just don't know where this is going, if it has a purpose, and why i'm afriad.