"When I finally get married, I want Dennis to be my best man." My dad looked at me really strangely when I said that. I'm not sure if he understood that I meant I wanted him to be there when I finally do get married, or if he thought I was planning on it now. I'm not planning on it at this moment. I'm not planning on getting married till after college. I think he's worried that Carla is going to change a lot during this year away from me. The main thing he needs to remember is that we're both making the effort to keep in touch. I don't know how that would keep her from changing. I don't think she will. I mean, she's told me that the only time she feels like the person she wants to be is when she's with me. That makes me extraordinarily satisfied with our relationship. I'm glad that I can set her free like that. She expressed to me that she wants to be more like that in college: confident, sexy, savvy, and just plain social. I'd be even more enamoured in her if she did. I'm still kind of afraid that the college freedom might do something. I don't like drinking. I don't like smoking. A lot of people I know have started in college or are going to. I hope to both my god and hers that she won't do that. I don't mind her getting more tattoos. I mean, I'm planning on a few myself, like 2 or 3. I'm not worried about that. I am kinda worried that without me there, she's gonna go clubbing one day and find a guy who makes her feel really great. *sigh* I'm guessing this is a stupid/silly thing of me to think, because I'm pretty sure we're a little more connected than just by being together. I feel...I don't know. Liberated? Loved? Happy? Relieved? Complete? all of that when I think about her. I truly hope that everything goes well. I don't think anything bad will happen, but...I just don't know. All I can do is hope for the best, I suppose.