and... hated.hurt.sad.tired.funwanting?.hating.dieing im this close.-. to it..to the edge nd i cant take this pain anymore..where can it all go you ask? it all settles at the bottom of my heart nd right about now theres no more room for anymore..what am i gunna do you ask? im gunna do somthin scary nd stupid cuz i cant think of anything better to do..thers jus somthin not right about this..i used to be the one who was alwayz out nd now im the one whos always in..nd u think i dont care about you well im the only one hoo does..ive kept somthing on my wrist jus so that im reminded of how much i care for yoo even tho we arent that close..i never lend it out nd its alwayz there for me to think of..theres no one aanymore keeping me from this so maybe i should jus do it..do it so i can put it behind me nd take away my pain..jamie wat the hell are you thinking? no you cant do this to urself now that youve gotten so far..what is ur family gunna think?...youre right..i cant do this to myself or to my family..the truth is that they are all i care about nd all that cares about me..if they do care about me maybe i dno..but maybe i should give up..no i wont. i cant. but its too hard..make it easy..nothin can ever be easy..make it seem that way. no i cant this isnt working.. now do you all see what you have done to me? you have split my mind in two so that i now have two voices in my head to everything nd gthey cant agree.thanks alot... *this is the last entry i swear for todai* *sry for my look of insanity in the above writing but i am extremely bored nd cannot contain myself anymore..my deepest apologiez* /'unwanted/'