well todaiii i woke up early but fell back asleep nd didnt end up going to the horse show...but my mommy said that jelly bean got first out of ...one horse(herself) nd 3rd out of 3 horses..she has another show tomorrow but my mommy wont take me :(...then i went to tovviees house after i had to wait fooooooorrrrrreeeeeeeeever cuz my sis wouldnt come home!! haha well yes anyways we were gunna go tan in the middle of ivy hall park but we decided to go to willow stream instead..didnt get too tan tho..stan nd grace met up wit us and we chilled for a while nd yea it was funnnny...until stan got all moody nd was being a total asshole!! haha well maybe he was menstrating?? me nd eddie had a whole convo about mens menstrating periods...haha yea well yea...then me nd tov went to her house to shower then back here...ok so i was totally over the guy i have been writing about...til i see a message he left me on my away message..omg i almost cried it made me fall right back in lvoe nd it makes me sooooooooo mad!! ahh wats wrong wit me?? is he tellin the truth nd being sincere or is he jus trying to charm his way out of something...who knows??! why cant i get out of all of this stuff!! its realli hard!! haha lets see i think i have what he wrote.... and im sorry i couldnt date you yet....im sorry i treated you so badly too....i never understood that at one pooint you truly did like me...i know how it feels for that kind of thing to happen to like someone so much and they date someone else....and i also know that i have made a mistake in not giving us a chance, because i know that i wont find someone else quite like you, probably noone will ever like me so much and give me that many chances, im also sorry you ahd to give me that many chances i amde a lot of mistakes with you, all of which were careless and stupid....but youve taught me a lot and i know ill regret not dating you because you are amazing....your wonderful and you dont think yuo take many chances but by liking me you took a chance and by likingme as much as you did you took a huge chance then later he said..... i have to go in a little bit anyway, but this isnt the end, just cause you dont like me now doesnt mean i wont like you soon, dont forget me then i told him...i couldnt forget you if i tried....i dno whether i like you still or not...i jus don wanna hurt anymore oy nd i do like him tho but oy i don wanna hurt anymore!!i don wanna sit here waiting for him either... its really strange nd ive never felt like this before about a guy...with all the assholes ive dated (nd there have been quite a few) this one jus seems to be perfect!! ahhh this sucks major ass.....well yes...hmm hmmm....o yea nd listen to my dream i had last night... *i do hav random dreams ok so dont make fun!!* ok so my family nd i had moved to NYC ok nd i was sitting in my apartment nd all of a sudden this realli cute guy walks in.. blue eyez brown hair yes the perfect one!!..nd he was realli sweet! hes all like "do u want me to show you around the city" nd im all like "sure!!" haha yea nd then i dno but we were in a helicopter ok (yes i kno wierd) nd then all of a sudden we were like bunjee jumping out of the helicopter (yes i kno also wierd) but anyways..i am afraid of heights but i jus felt so safe with him nd thats wat i want!! to feel safe nd comfortable around someone...*btw i do feel safe nd shtuff around that one boy i described earlier* yea well thats mostly it...nd yea.. me nd tova like walked outside to let my doggy out nd all of a sudden we hear music..nd then some guy like saying "LIMBO TIME!!!" we looked at eachother nd jus started to laugh nd it was realli funny like who has partys with limbos?? wat the hey??? lol yea well yea hehe... ive decided on gettin a new guitar..any ideas on what kind?? fender..gibson..Gretsch..Ibanez...ESP...dno well gimme infoo.... me nd tov are gunna go now...later babezz... *kitkat we kno you deserve the best guy out there and youll find him...jus wait nd see...we are always here if u wanna talk! we love yooo!!! mwahz* J*me nd Tovieee