So i went to this party.there was a cute girl there.yeah she ended up having the hots for me.she was really cool.it was about five in the morning and we were lying on the couch watching a movie and looked into her eyes to find glimpse of whats in veronicas.she kissed me and i felt horrible.it's not like i was trying to lead her on.we were just having a good time.come to find out she has been hhurt alot in the past.she gave me her number but the last thing i need is to jump into a new relationship.i'm still madly in love with veronica and i'm trying to straightin my life out.she was cool though.we know alot of the same people.i won't lie and say i'm not attracted to her but no.not now.it's hard waiting when you feel so alone.i mean it was easier when i knew at the end of the night i had veronica.i would just ignore them.i didn't last night though.i mean i didn't do anything i regret because technically i'm single.veronica say's i'm still hers but i can't help but feel lonely.With different guys wooing after her i can't help but feel like i'm in a competition.aparrently i'm in the lead but i'm not very competitive.she is waiting for me to straighten my life out but when is it enough?so i have to wait for her approval?hmm,i don't like the way that sounds.it's kind of against everything i'm for.love is love.not how many drugs i do or don't do.in the end it's still worth giving up for me and us.she told me she could spend the rest of her life with me tonight.i already thought out a proposal months ago.it seems so far away now.i even told my mom about it.i htink it's romantic.maybe one day i'll get that chance.well i'm ramblin...shit i need to call her back!oops!