Wow...it's autumn again...this is the longest i've ever been sober since i was 12. i finally saw what was hidden for so long.i'm on a journey to find my potential.my life.i'm really confused on what to do right now.i know what i want to do..go back to school,get my own place again..have a life.find love again.i've just got alot of walls i have to break down.i still can't beleive i was almost army bound.i look back on it and think i got lucky.or maybe i just wasn't meant to go?either way being a week away from basic and having already sworn in and getting a phone call saying that a slight mistake made by my recruiter defaulted me from my service was more releaving than i thought..skip in time..i've got to get a better job.one that i can afford to live on..i have a chane to move away.i'm really starting to consider it..i need someone to talk to.someone in particular..i'm just scared to...anyway i can't stop listening to these two songs by silversun pickups.. the lyrics have sparked somthing,the music fuels the fire.. future foe scenarios the things we laid do not amount to much made of abandoned wood loose stones and such this revolution baby proves who you work for lately release the castaways who run amok from self appointed winds which blow and such when present tense gets strangled in the mire made of our cozy decomposing wires who do you work for baby and does it work for you lately but when the night is over and the walls start burning when fire starts to matter and the clock is churning cliches and other chatter keeps our minds from learning it's alright the things we laid do not amount to much made up of thought balloons and cotton swabs when present tense gets strangled in the woes made of our future foe scenarios this revolution baby proves who you work for lately who do you work for baby and does it work for you lately but when the night is over and the walls keep linking when fire starts to matter and the clock keeps sinking cliches and other chatter keeps our minds from thinking our minds keep thinking it's alright that's when it turned on me a motorcade of 'meant to be's' parades of beauty queens where soft entwines make kindling these many detailed things like broken nails and plastic rings will win by keeping me from speaking to my new darling and there's no way to know our future foe scenarios that's when it turned on me where bobby pins hold angel wings it's alright Rusted Wheel so you can't hold a star in your hand though at least you can hold on to another plan rusted wheel planted still i can tell it's summer from the size of the bugs that fly through my window flying through my window rusted wheel planted still rusted wheel can't move on i can tell it's winter from the size of the lump in my throat got a lump in my throat rusted wheel planted still rusted wheel can't move on and it feels just like the ground but trapped in another way just still in the ground and it feels just like the ground and trapped in another way just still in the ground so you can't hold a star in your hand though at least you can move on to that better plan rusted wheel planted still rusted wheel can't move on...