i miss your hands. i miss the way we held hands. i miss your body. i miss your smell. i miss your lips. i miss your eyes. i miss your kiss. i miss your taste. i miss your lame jokes. i miss your help. i miss your smile. i miss your hugs. i miss your chest. i miss you.

still. there are things i dont miss. and while i dont feel hateful about anything, i can't decide if i made a mistake, or if it will just take time to learn to live without you. and why do i have to live without you? why can't i decide what i want from you. i dont know if i dont want a relationship or if i want friendship or if i want nothing. do i want someone new? do i still want you? i look at your pictures and try to figure out what youre doing these days without me. who are you seeing? who are you talking to and hanging out with and spending time with? what are you doing with your time? i definitely miss you. just thinking about this so much is making me want to contact you and see how you are. I havent spoken to you in over a month.

will i see you in a month? what will happen?

i dont know how to let you go.