ok, so its like, 3:30...i just got home... and i wrote one of the most emo entries of my life. yeah, its that bad. it got to the point where i had to make it private though...im not going to lie, it was brutal, and as much as i may be hurting right now, i wouldn't wish this on anyone else...not even the inflictor. but whatever... i'll "get over it" right? i mean, whats a few more scars along the way on an already shattered heart and ruined wrists? barry will kill me...he's already pissed off about the whole thing... whatever. at least maybe then i'll feel something. right now, i'm like, completely numb to everything...i only put 'crushed' because thats the label barry gave me for my emotions...he's the only one who i've actually been able to sit down and talk about this with... i don't think i'm there yet though. crushed, i mean. right now, i just kind of don't feel anything...mostly because i'm not letting it be true...but once i know that it is...the effects of it, i'm afraid to say, will be less than pleasant... you know, i love how people are all "bleh...wtf you never talk to me..." why should i when you don't even have the "balls" to tell me what the fuck is going on? instead you leave me to figure shit out on my own, and then to be driven slowly insane wondering what the hell i've done wrong... thanks a fucking lot. GOD i hate it when i'm right... ...the past few nights have been strange...i don't want to go into it right now, maybe tomorrow, if i'm home....its sunday morning and i'm home for pretty much the first time though, so i dunno... effing full moons man, i fucking hate it. ugh...whatever...im gonna go find a box of sharp objects... before i start getting all brutally emo again...