Listening to: All American Rejects - One More Sad Song
Feeling: alienated
Countdown: 12 more days
yeah, so heres a not-so-instant recap.
yesterday? was okay.
last night? SUCKED.
today?
...fuck off.
yesterday was actually decent. we had our first photography club meeting, and me, lexie, paige, and jess made photograms, and ms.st.jean got to play the part of the proud parent when we showed her our pictures, lol.
last night, well...
last night and today are kind of the same to me, considering i layed awake ALL FUCKING NIGHT doing everything i could not to cry... i succeeded until american lit class today, when barry made me tell him what was going on...i had to write it down because i didnt want to say it out loud...somehow, if i dint speak it, i can almost deny the truth in it.
but yeah...i cried as i wrote it...i seem to be doing that alot lately...probly because im fucking weak...
and before you ask, yeah, i did.
and you know what?
i don't regret it. if i hadn't done it, i would have broken down, and if it comes down to it, i'd rather do that and be calm and semi-okay then not do that and be an emotional wreck.
not that it matters to you anyway...
but yeah...today was a total waste of living, and...yeah, i got nothing.
edit:
ok, so i feel a little better today. we had a snow day :D i really needed the break, so thats good.
and shock rock rob made me feel better too :) he left me this INSANELY long comment, telling me not to be sad and that everything would work out and that i HAD to listen to him, because he knew, he's been there before so he knew what was going on with...everything.
then he was like "im going to send you a thousand kisses!" and then he literally wrote the word kiss a thousand times.
like i said, it was a REALLY long comment, lmao. i ♥ that boy.
but yeah, anyway, back to this... today was better. i woke up at about 10 because Jade was calling me, lol. she had a 2 hour delay, so we talked until she got to school. then, i talked to barry, ali, and sara for a couple hours...fun stuff. and i made brownies :)
then i wanted to play in the snow, but no one would go with me :(
and yeah...that was my day, lol.
maybe i'll still go play in it...it DOES look like fun...i know, i know, i sound like a little kid, but HEY, i grew up in florida, and there really wasn't a whole lot of snow to play in there, so...give me a break...lol.
yea you're a wreck but dude who the hell isn't? evryone has thier shitty days...
i want you to heal k?
take your time and heal...
love ya lots
xoxo
-kim