i think i made it akward. but now he knows. how i love him. why i love him. And he does know. he cried. it was an amazing moment. i cried. i was scared. i didn't know. but he's afraid. but is he really afraid of what he says he is? or is there more. is he afraid of hurting me, really? or is he realizing that its okay to let his gaurd down finally. is he realizing that im not going to hurt him. is he beginning to see what i truely say when i tell him that i love him. that every word i shape for him is carefully selected and put together, to tell him more then what i'm really saying. is he finally going to let me in, as afraid as he is? is he finally beginning to see how much he truely means to me, and as much as it scares him, how much i depend on him? i hope though, he doesnt thinbk he has to be with me, if he feels otherwise, he can let me go, for as much as i love him now, and will till the day i die, if there is something that pulls us apart, by his choice, or other forces, because for the love of god, of heaven and hell, i will love him, need him, hold him, till heaven falls to hell, and hell freezes over with a thouusand crystals of cold harsh love, that i will live. i promise. i promise him that. he can't feel that i need him to survive. because thats too much for someone to handle, but he is a good portion of what my life revolves around and to lose him would tear me apart, no doubt. but if he chooses to love me forever, i will be there, to pick him up after every fall, to hold him up with every trip, to lift him higher, when he's flying high, and to pull him down when hes going to float away. i'd die to see him succeed. i'd die to see him happy. i'd die to know hes got what he wants. i'd die for him, cause i love him. and i think, in a way, i may finally have made him understand this. and his tears, showed something true. i will remeber that moment forever. because moments like that ARE what true love IS. and will stay alive. forever baby. i love you.