I don't really know what I'm annoyed with. I realize I'm really bad at this blog thing. Who reads it anyways? I've gone and got a myspace account and I still have problems with bothering to check it... People actually message me. Yeah, I know. Hard to believe. But... "Login is temporarily disabled while we fix some database problems. We'll be back shortly. 4/20/2006" Stupid myspace... They're probably off getting stoned. I really need new music. I'm really sick of listening to this old stuff on my computer. Someone make me CDs... My house smells like cauliflower. God. So gross. Whatever happened to my mothers good cooking? Oh yeaaaaaaaah.... Low carb diet. *twitches* My rooms so messy. Blah blah. I don't know why I'm updating this... Completely pointless, I know.

I want a pet bat. I'm going to name it Gauno. Part one of the plan has commenced. Bwhaha. I've decided.. I've got no talent for poetry. I don't even want to attempt at poetry.. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to pay Patric to do them for me when Sova wants me to do poetry. Oh,em,gee! That rhymed! Like, ohmigawd. Anyways... Springs break. Guess what I'm doing? Nothing. So yeaaaaah... I think I'm going to get some friends together on sunday and we'll all watch Talk Sex With Sue. elohlazzzz. I'll read Dune and do my homework. And I'll be charitable. I'll give away all my old crap to St. Vinny's. I had a point somewhere around here. Hey maybe I'll call Lisa! That's a snazzy idea. I'll even work on some of that Art stuff. See, I have a plan. Just because I'm not going to Hawaii or Florida and getting skin cancer and such. I know it takes to be cool. I'm cool. I need the smell of summer, I need its noises in my ears. Whee, Spring!

You know what I hate most in life? I mean, besides the really bad stuff, like starving childern, STDs and those really annoying kids that plague this school.. I hate... Red toothpaste. My mom has bought it in mass stock... When ever I spit it out I think I have some kind of aweful gum disease.. And there goes chunks of my gums... Plus it really doesn't taste too great. Yup..

Mood: bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggahahfkjhfskdjrunc I love chex mix. I love chex mix. I love grilled cheeses. More than chex mix. I love warm blankets. I love reading narnia. I love... Chocolate cake. I love Apple Bees. I love laughing. Smiling. Confidence. Surgar cookie scented candles. New seating arrangements. Pizza. Mythbusters. National Geographic. Blue eyes. Giggles. Fruit. But you know what I don't love? Cold coffee. Pizza with peppers and onions. Fat. Rice cakes. Spanish. Booze. Spanish speaking booze... Jose Cuervo... That whistle song. That humps song. That stacey's mom song... BEST. Homan. Stafford. Yur Mom. THE RODEO SONG Well it's 40 below and I don't give a *censored*, got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the Rodeo, Well it's an alaman right and an alaman left, come on ya *censored*in' dummy get your right step right, get off the stage ya God damn goof ya know, you piss me off, you *censored*in' jerk, ya get on my nerves. Here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand, he's a one ball man and he's off to the Rodeo, Well it's an alaman right and an alaman left, come on ya *censored*in' dummy get your right step right, get off the stage ya God damn goof ya know, you piss me off, you *censored*in' jerk, ya get on my nerves Well it's 40 below and I don't have a truck and I don't give a *censored* 'cause I'm off to the Rodeo, Well it's an alaman right and an alaman left, come on ya *censored*in' dummy get your right step right, get off the stage ya God damn goof ya know, you piss me off, you *censored*in' jerk, ya get on my nerves. Here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand, he's a one ball man and he's off to the Rodeo... 11:37 pm.

I was scanning through the channels today. Bobby must've ordered some cable package because instead of getting the usualy mtv, mtv2, vH1... which i never watch, we now get IMF and Fuse! Hooray! International music feed which shows all these hot chicks from japan with their cheesy music and these weird indian guys with their silly towels. I think that new kid in my homeroom is.. well he's not indian. i'll have to ask. it's like gababagooksu. or y'know something.. this sure did turn out pretty pointless. While i was watching the IMF, i saw gwen stafani sing that song luxurious or something.. for those of you who haven't seen it she's like rubbing herself, no.. swimming in these... candy wrapper things (hawt...nope) and she looks like she's like.... doing them.. "Ohhhhh candy wrappers, i can't eat you because i'm anorexic and i wear much too dark lipstick that just might smudge all over my pale pasty face and into my bleached "natural" platinum hair... sooo i'll just rub my boney ass all over your candy wrapper platicy hawtness" That's exactly what she was thinking when she was lip syncing. no lies. and i'm super tired right now. the keys are sticking. my keyboard is very homosexual. my parents are pretty homosexual too. they sit out in the living room... and sleep on the furniture. that is the definition of homosexuality. i mean.. they have a huge bed. sleep in their own friggin' room... now i'm gonna go to bed. you bitches. i'm not even gonna read this over. i know it's stupid. i don't care. soo... FUCK YOU COP!

*Stupid emo music plays in background, sits on bed... flops back. props legs up against wall, lets head hang upside down over beds edge* *mother walks in (without knocking)* Her: What are you doing? Me: Getting a new perspective on life.. Her: *stares and slowly walks out* Me: Yep.

breaks over. how depressing. i used to like school. what happened? puberty. ahahahahahahaha....ha. mr. mcclure has a silly little facial hair thing going on. it makes me giggle. my eyes are buuuuuurrrning. i think it's from lack of sleep. which is just silly because i went to bed at 6 last night but my silly little family was wonderfully noisy... sillies. so i finally dozed off after watching little mermaid and reading narnia. anyone who says i need to grow up is just.... silly. ahahah...ha. i woke up last night at 3:28. i sure do hate waking up between 3-4. scares the crap out of me. mmhmm... woke up from a dream. more of a nightmare really. i was making a cherry pie for a contest (horrifying, i know) and of course, to get to the contest i had to walk across a frozen river. the river (of couuuurse) was fine for everyone else. but for me. it had to break. just as i was walking over it. it's a sign i'm sure... you're fat it says. mreh. wellllll anyways. i clearly remember falling through the ice and drifting down... down... down... and the current pulling me farther down stream under the ice... and i just decided (in my dreams mind) what's the point? what's the point i'm dead now. and then i thought "i guess i won't learn latin afterall." which is just weird... i think it had to do with the whole waking up at 3-4 am, emily rose and such.... and then, in my dream, i was freezing my balls off... y'know being in a frozen river and i thought "this is god isn't it. this is what everyone's waiting for. i'm being judged" and i'm sure that if i had thought this when i was awake i would have snorted and rolled my eyes. i can't help what i think when i'm asleep though. then i felt warm, hot all at once and i woke up. looked at the clock. tried to calm down... think of calming things... not the terrifying images running through my head. ugh. finally fell back asleep. yeah... so that was interesting. the break sort of sucked to be honest... it was nice to be away from school but my familys little tradition of going outside on christmas day after opening presents was ruined by the lack of snow. we had more snow on thanksgiving... siiiigh. no snowmobiling or anything... "well, nicole, you'll probably live longer than either of us" no kiddin'. darling sisters if you do drugs, sleep around and smoke like a mofo... what do you expect? blaaaah. i'm a horrible person. does it make me horrible if i don't speak up or does it make me horrible if i voice my opinions about their choice constantly... scorning them.. judging. which i don't do. hmm. o.O O.o.... o.o...O.O... O_O.... yep. just kind of makes me angry. if they die then i suppose.... i... wouldn't get anymore stuff stolen from me ^^! teehee. stop looking at me. i hate people... i think i'll just go back into my hole. like a hermit. hermits are pretty cool. yaaa meeeean................ cheers.

Saw lisa today. as did almost everyone else.... I really adore most of the people in the yearbook room o.O... well y'know except... socia... that once chick.. those other chicks who i don't know.. and that other person... LISA LISA LISA LISA LISA................... aw.. she gave me ADD.. my computer is being really slow right now... it's just so uncool. unnnnncccccccccccoooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllll. i really need to stop listening to depressing music. hmm hmm hmmmmmm. what the fuck was i going to write about? besides lisa and her unbelievable awesomeness... y'know.. what i really hate is.. when you click on messages... hoping they're important and then it's just like: Hi. or wAnna caht??/ just wanna call up the little bastards and scream at them a little bit.. get a life... sooo hypocritical ._. oooh well. i made tiffany some brown bags. full of food. i don't know why.. we just have all this good food lying about my house and everyone in my family is fat and well... tiffanys not. yeah..

How do i get ride of these damned square things around my entry...

Heeey-ohhhh Tiiiffff--oonneee--aaaaay! uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce uhnce.... Geometry... Uhnce... Tiffany I wroted yew a lurve poem ^^...uhnce. Tiffany I love you. the end. I wroted you another one too. Tiffany You rawk sawks. In the pants Everydaaay heeey More. Tiffany I think about you all the time I can't help it you're always on my mind I think about you when i pick my nose and how your wear those awesome funny clothes I lerve you and your fat dog I lerve you so much that i put it in this blog ^^ Tiffany You make me wanna Lala you make me wanna dance the chacha (i'm so witty I made that up) When we're 18 we're getting tatoooos So you'll always remember me and never get the bluuuues. I got you addicted to coffeee and I like saying the word toffee my mom is snoring really loudly (like your mom) I don't say this very proudly and i love you lots and lots so much love it could fill pots and pots the end and all those who think my poetry sucks... you're all just geeeeeeeeeeeey.

Sitting in library... these kids.. freshman.. boys.. boy1: Duuude... I had subway boy2: Dude! You had subway? boy3: Aw, dude, subway's good.. boy2: Man, you never come in when i work. boy1: dude! When do you work? boy2: blah blah blah.... Dude, you gotta come in when i work. I'll hook you up boy2: dude fo' real?? boy3 says to boy4: Dude... check out this wicked burn on my thumb... boy4: DUUUUDE! That looks grody... boy1: yeah, man... yeah... This is the future generation. How desolate.

Came home and for the first time in a long time I was in a wonderful mood. I could blame it on those two cups of coffee i had but... i'm not going to. Then the cubscout meeting started. and... Oh-em-gee. Some of those little brats... Are the strongest form of birth control i could ever need. I wouldn't ever have sex for fear of getting pregnant and producing... one of -those-. It's shudder worthy. Some of the boys are good little kids that are clever and cute and just makes me want to hug them and say awww... you're parents are so lucky... I hope you don't become a teenager and get fucked up ^^. Then there are some kids who rip off small animals heads and burn barbie dolls in their free time. Those are the kids that you know will become homicidal maniacs and serial rapists... Like that one brat. that i want to smack silly. because his parents are religious tight ass fanatics... ok.. so i'm done with that. i have to do homework.. what's new. we're decorating the christmas tree. it's all holidayish and familyish fun with out the arguements and silliness. muffins are good. ::Edit:: And since we've got no place to go... let it snow let it snowLETITSNOWSOFUCKINGMUCHTHATWEHAVENOGODDAMNEDSCHOOLINTHEBLOODYCOLDNIPPLYMORNING!!!!!!!! ASHAHAHAHHAKJAHFDKLAHFDBVAKLNFSJDNBGVKJNGF! Nightnight.

I just got the sudden urge to be alive! To do anything and everything! To run a marathon and go skiing, see alaska! To do everything BUT my homework! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. ahem.. Weekend was fun... Silly parents and their christmas shopping. I didn't even attempt to figure out what I'm getting this year and I still found out. It has happened every year since l was twelve. Getting a stereo... I didn't even ask for a stereo but... yeah.. I'm not complaining.. Tiffany and I had fun and all that jazz. I have Mike Jones stuck in my head. It makes me want to slam my head into a concrete wall. Teehee. I shouldn't procrastinate... sigh. But I did. Now I have tons more homework to do. Blah blah blah.

I'm teaching mrs. sova how to SD. now i'm showing her.

Ok.. Ms.Sova is officialy on SD. Instead of me just going around telling everyone her name... I'll just post it here. mssova. that's her name. go figure. ^^ thiiiisss weeekend i'm doing stuff. amazingly. tiffany's coming over.. we're gonna watch movies. monty python. men in tights. fun stuff like that. total anti-depressing night ^^. and we're gonna do our huge load of homework too.. that's always fun. on saturday we're gonna paint kids faces for christmas in the village. we did it once before with aubrey on firemen's memorial. one child green snotted on me........... childern are delightful. i had another screwed up dream. those are always fun. i'm so boring right now. i'm even boring myself. how pathetic. it's pretty boring. i gotta be exciting. gotta. i gotta do homework too. but of course i'll go with the stradegy of putting it off forever. the one guy who wrote hitch hikers guide to the galaxy once said "I love deadlines. I love the sound they make as they go rushing past me." teehee. i think it's because i haven't had coffee today. i'm becoming addicted. i've hooked tiffany too. it's drug. that coffee. not black coffee of course. french vanilla-y coffee. and caramel-y coffee. and tohpheeee. cheers.

I just realized that my previous dream sounded like an orgy among students... *shudder* well, i had another dream last night. I can't remember if i was with jacob or not... but a whole bunch of other people were there. jacob and i were walking to the beach. we were in my old neighbor hood that was somehow mixed with my current neighbor hood. and we turned this corner and i said to jacob "Oh! I didn't know you could get to the beach from here!" and then i showed him how we usually got to the beach... the current trail through my woods that leads no where... uhm.. apparently in the dream it led to the beach. and then we go down to the lake... or maybe it was my old shitty house.. i don't remember. but suddenly, there was like no gravity! and all of my friends were there! and we were fighting some bad guys.... mrs webb was there... with a giant rifle. and i had a little hand gun and i ran out of ammo! so i stole some from one of my fallen comrades. one of our friends lay dead... then i tried to get a second gun so i could do a double shooting thingy... after that it's all kind of blurry. i woke up remember me trying to reload my gun but realizing there were already bullets in it and mrs. webb was aiming at me....................... no lie. this was in my head. who has dreams like this? i mean. i know dreams can be pretty fucked up but.. c'mon.. weird. o.O don't wanna do biology homework.

my mood falls between stuffed and squishy. "YOU STUFFED HER LIKE A THANKSGIVING TURKEY *GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!*!!!!" "MR. REED! That's enough!" or something like that. soooo... we had turkey, stuffing, masher tatoes, corn, rolls, cranberry sauce (whatever the fuck that is..), pumpkin pie, apple pie and cheese cake. yummeh. alls yummeh 'cept da cranberry barf... so to start at the beginning... well not really the beginning but... nevermind. last night we went out to rent movies from movie gallery and as you all know movie gallery movies are like 5 bucks per new rental... ok exaggeration. anyways... so we go there and uhhhm.... we decided that movie gallery was much to expensive (bobby, candace, kayla and i)..... Kayla: WOW! This place is, so expensive. Me: Unbelieveably expensive. Kayla: expensive like bran name expensive. Me: gas price expensive. Kayla: friggin A right... Me: Tru dat homes................*fat clerk glares at us* Me: Have a nice Thanksgiving! Kayla: WORD! lmao. ok so then we decided to drive allll the way to houghton lake to family video at 9 o'clock at night. we got there and got 14 movies for 9 dollars.... hell yes. so far we've watched skeleton key (pretty fucked up) and sisterhood of the traveling pants... which was... a chick flick to say the least. THEY... as in THEM... as in other family members watched herby... however you spell it... reloaded. i didn't really want to watch icky lindsey lohan but candace said herby beat her up so that's ok then. kayla and i went to bed around 3. woke up. looks out side. said "Holy shit!" at the amount of snow. took the garbage out in my pjs and holy fucking nip ons! brr... we went to my grandmas. it was so purty with all the snow... we sat around, stuffed ourselves. all three of us took a 3 our nap watching football. how very traditional. damn those things in turkey that make you sleepy... nevermind. i lied. it was a nice nap. kayla and i both slep on the couch all squooshed together. are you ready for the drive home?! FUCK YEAH i ran out to start the car. HOLY NIP ONS! we were fine until about 8 miles from out house @_@. the snow... my gooood. you couldn't see 5 feet in front of you. so of course to make things less stressful all three of us lovely girls sung: Jingle Bells, Row, Row, Row Your Boat, Part of your world(little mermaid), Baby Got Back, 12 days of christmas, and Roudolph. we started down our road... and we hit a drift, the snow went flying over the windshield and we couldn't see a thing. it brought a whole new meaning to "dashing through the snow". i called my gran heil, gran binger, "him", and zack&dezzy and wished them happy thanksgiving ^^. i'm so considerate. caleigh, i had a dream about you. but i don't remember it very well. y'know that one scene in the lion kind when simba is singing the can't wait to be king song... well, when all the animals are stacked on top of one another and simba at the top? it was like that. at school. only with students. and caleigh. pretty fucked up huh. leeeeeerve yew.

Haven't updated in a while. Candace and Kayla are up. As much as i complain about them i really do like it when they come up. they distract me and make me feel like a teenager when i'm at home. last night royally sucked balls. my mother and i almost got in a fist fight. pretty cool. she does that again and i'll give her a black eye ^^ . Candace and kayla might be picking me up from school and that makes me happy. had coffee this morning and i'm thankful of the coffee. i also had a banana this morning and i'm thankful of that too. i'm thankful of my dogs and my warm comfy bed. and i'm thankful that i can still watch disney movies over and over again and never get bored. but y'know what i'm not thankful for? florida. because florida is just stupid. with it's old people, snobby teenagers baring their tanned midrifts and throwing their neon frisbees. with their aligators and swamps. florida just royally sucks balls. and so does jacob. holidays really suck lately. sometimes i just wish things would be the way they were. when everything was all happy with turkey and mashed patatoes. siiiiigh. apparently everyones talking about phil. small schools are funny like that. whooo candace and kayla. i'm also thankful for those rare phone calls from that one person that makes me feel like shit, makes me laugh and depressed at the same time. mixed emotions are cool. i'm thankful that he calls at all. maybe i'll call him and he won't be mean. maybe. happy thanksgiving.... biatches.

rant rant rant.

so i got home from drivers training last night... and we all know how much that class pretty much just sucks balls. but then i got hugs from people from the musical that i hardly know so that... was comforting o.O. and i made beautiful faces at kristys camera... yeaaah...... then i got home and i tried to go to bed early. i started thinking about my sitdiary (i don't know why) and i started thinking of ashleys lovely "suck my balls" comment on my previous entry... well... since i didn't reply to her i was thinking of things i could say to suck my balls. but then i couldn't think of anything except: ASHLEY BUGOSH IS A FUZZY SQUIRREL ANUS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH then i giggles at the image. so i'm sitting under multiple layers of blankets and i giggle. and then i giggle some more. so i thought very seriously "nicole you must get serious. you must be up in 6 hours" i started to doze off then i came to the realization that i had to pee. fuck. so then i giggled again. as i got out of bed i tripped over my computer chair and fell, flat faced on the floor. oddly enough i giggled again. by this point i'm beginning to wonder if i'm high. i've never been high so i don't know if i am or not. i haven't done anything to be high so i dunno... perhaps i've been drugged. i get around to peeing. then i crawl back into bed and i sit there. and then i imagine myself writing this and how very amusing i will be recalling this. ahaha. amusedness. i'm lying down and i hope that i have a wonderful sexy dream. but then i woke up. i don't think that i had a sexy dream or if i did i don't remember and this makes me sad ._. so waking up...... 5 minutes before my alarm is about to go off bobby slams his fist against my door, over and over again. SONOFAMOTHERFUCKINGBITCH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!. i'm already grumpy in the morning and we have to start it off with a screaming fest? c'mon. jesus... stupit. i didn't even get my coffee... siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh