wow i havent written for a long time. its not like any of you guys care tho. your probably happy. oh well. glad to burst your bubble. so im just sitting here trying to figure out whats been happening for the last little while. I mean james came and saw me...told me that he figured out what he needed to...ie hes ready to get back with me. i dont know if i can tho...im afraid i guess... thats wierd... everyone is telling me not to. i dont know where to turn. im scared im going to screw it up like everything else i have. i dont know. i cant even think. god i hate this. clayton was supost to call me. he makes me laugh. i like him lots! he makes me smile. teehee the phone just rang...wasent him. damnit. sigh. how depressing. i jump every time the phone rings...how steriotypical. i just want...shit. i dont know what i want. could someone tell me please???