I don't know what's wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me? I've been feeling sick the past few days... it's like someone is twisting my intestings around inside my body, I'm always feeling tired, my chest feels like it's being crushed and my gagging refects kick in every now and again. Maybe it's an illness, but it doesn't stop me from doing what I want, just hurts a great deal. Nowadays I'm missing Chris more and more, although the other night, I was too ill to even care for him being there... I didn't particulary care about what other people were saying/doing either, they were just a blurred reality... couldn't be bothered to leave for home though, it seemed miles and miles away. I remember thinking about leaving, or running after Chris when he left, but I didn't. This morning was weird, I woke up half in a sleepy trace facing the wall and wedged under that fucking shelf, I expect to see him lying next to me when I twisted around. He wasn't there of course. I started to cry, the knot in my belly was hurting again and the 'Spirit' songs were playing on my sterio. I missed him.