I'm so awake. Perceptions of false neuro-psychological reality is confusing my head. I sometimes believe what I dream has really happened and wake and walk the next day confused and thinking about what hasn't happened. I also has some sort of hallucinations in the space between awake and asleep, for example, this morning I saw Chris lying next to me, but he wasn't really, it was, in fact, the duvet which I mistook for being him. Except the duvet looks nothing like him. When I hugged it, it distorted and morphed back into what it was supposed to be... I was very disappointed. Jay took me to the abby ruins today where 'alternative' people gather in great numbers. As soon as we got there I wanted to leave again. They make me sick. Went home again soon afterwards. It's raining now...