so yeah, i guess i just slept wrong or something cause my shoulder does not feel good. i finally got my kitties in my new apartment last night, they love it! i can't believe they are getting so big, they'll be five weeks on thursday. I already have two given away and a friends mom is gonna check with one of her friends to see if she wants the other one, which leaves the one that looks just like his daddy (i'm keeping that one). His name is Meaty cause he's huge, but I love him so much and his eyes are blue. Now I know that kitten's eyes are blue, but the others have already changed and his have not, so i think they're gonna stay that way, FUN! so still enjoying my new job. some people i work with get kinda cranky cause they hate the company, but that's with any job and not to mention they've been here much longer, so they've had time to build up animosity where as i have not. dating a couple people, well not really dating, well i don't know it's hard to describe. yeah, i dont know. the girl that michael was with admitted to me the other night that they were fooling around while we were still married, as in before the divorce papers were filed. yeah, i knew it, but she finally admitted it. oh well, what's done is done. i think i need new tires on my car, i'm debating between buying contacts or new tires...hmmm...i think the new tires might outweigh the contacts, just cause sometimes when i'm driving it gets a little bumpy and i am aware that is the road as well, but still, some of it is my tire. I did the little penny test and yeah, definately need new tires. I also wanna get a new mattress, but i think that might have to wait until novemberish...just have to wait and see. well as far as i know, none of my friends were injured during the hurricane down south, so i'm very thankful for that. i was so worried cause my mom couldn't leave her apartment because she didn't have anywhere to go and she was having some health problems and since houston was evacuated she couldnt go to md anderson and the hospitals in her area were only taking life and death situations, so she couldn't get any medical attention, so I was worried sick about her. I was talking to her on the phone and I started crying and had to stop myself so she wouldn't get upset and have a panic attack. The past few days I've been dealing with hurting someone whom I care very much about, I just can't be what he needs right now, and it hurts a lot. He's in the marines and he wants me to be committed to him and I told him I'm just not at a point in my life where I can do that. I told him he deserves a whole person and I am not a whole person right now, I'm getting there, but I am far from it. I told him that I was gonna date other people and then the other night he told me that it was too hard for him and he couldn't do it anymore and I said that was fine I understood. Well then he made the mistake of saying that I wanted to date other guys because I dont think about him or care about him. so of course I went off like there was no tomorrow. I didnt talk to him for about a day and a half and I told him that I think its just better if we're friends and nothing more because this is obviously to much for him and he apologized and said no its not he was just letting the jealousy talk and I told him oh well, i'm not gonna do that again. I will be damned if I'm gonna have someone else say that I dont care about them when I do. Yesterday when we were talking he said i love you and i told him he cant say that to me if we're just gonna be friends, so that bothered him a lot and now he's depressed. well this morning when I talked to him he said that he wanted things to go back to the way they were, so he could say that I love you and have me say it back. I told him that we were not there anymore and I dont see us getting back there because I can't hurt him this much. So yeah, there's that. I dont know what it is, I just wanna chill, not date anyone exclusive, I dont want a serious relationship, but all the guys I meet either just wanna f*ck or they want a committment. I don't want either one of those. I just want people to chill with. If i do date a guy, I want someone funny, mature, knows how to have a good time and is 6'1" or taller. I'm not asking for a whole hell of a lot here. Apparently I am though cause I can't find shit for what I'm looking for.