Well today is... whats that word... um blah... yeah its kinda like that. Everything is slow paced and i feel drained from all the chaos at home and school. I got to talk to Mrs. Macnamara abou colleges, i was surprised to find that i have alot more oportunities than i thought. I dont know i just thought i had to do some things a certain way. I just want out of my life... if thas possible. I just want to embrace independence, and a personal freedom. If all that sounds right. to me right now it jsut doesn't seem like i have alot... i am lonely at times. For once i would just like to share the load of everything, or at least distract me from reality... even just for a second. Maybe thats why dnd is so addictive, we act the way we want in a fantasy realm or wonder and make believe... just what i long for at times. But everytime i just get thrown back into my weighted husk of a self each time... sigh this is all so depressive. I dont want to be. time heals all wounds i think... but the scares run deep and to the core. hmm i think i need to write some of this stuff down more! its sounds so... umm... poetic =P. Well pats comming over tonight i hope and that should be awsome. I plan to really enjoy this weekend.