so i pretty much think its time for a real update on whats happening other then my 5 word entrys.. but alot has been going on alot..new school.new friends.new sports.new teams new clothes everything people changing and i think that one is bothering me alot i think.just the point everything that has happend i didnt expect to happen im hanging out with totally differnt people then what i thought and sometimes it makes me want to just crawl into a hole and hide... it seems like i dont even have friends anymore.it really doesnt.. i barley see them other then sports or one class a day..and maybe its the boyfriend situation.maybe its just the new school or maybe its just us..something that was meant to happen..everything happens for a reason..and i know im changing im changing alot .i think ive changed more in 2 months then i have in 3 years i really do.and i miss the classes where you could walk 12 seconds and find someone..and just seeing these people isnt the same anymore .its like im a drag to them..so at the time when you feel like your a drag to someone to you keep just "dragging " along with them?..and no you wouldnt why.when you already feel like your bugging them..and im not sure i knew that when i started this school i wanted lots of friends..enough so that i get all types and i got that and sometimes i wish i could run up to my real..well..sometimes i wonder..friends and just go with them but i want to and sometimes try but its like there rolling there eyes..so why? they have someone with them..and like right now im close to one but i miss the other half i do..like everyone together its like ugh..and i hate that alot..i dont have friends i dont..like i do but it just doesnt seem right i have them but i see them once a day..and sometimes thats my choice but sometimes i wish i could just be able to ask them to hang out but it seems like its a chore to hang out with eachother and theres lots coming up that i want to do with people but i dont know if its even going to happen..well thats as much as i can vent so farrrr my wrists hurt so much from today i dont even know why jess M. and i left the last period class today and since then its hurt soo mcuhh oh well welllll...