well this is the end..finally..im glad im gonna miss a couple people..mostly teachers.lol..yes a couple they helped me alot but other then that the people i want to be with are coming to my school next year and they make me happy and i like it..hopefully everything works out..but yes i dont know i was crying on the last day and im not sure if it was im going to miss it i think its mostly because im going to miss some of the memories i had in it..with people i like there are some people when i walked out.i just stared and was like fuck im glad im never going to see you again..just because this year our school became so judgemental..like i didnt care..what people thought at times i was just the idiot i was..but anyways so alex at grad i said sorry and you know i cant belive this bugs me..why because what do i expect out of him..its just i didnt want a sorry i wanted an explanation on why he got that right to stare in my face and call me a fucking bitch..when i did have a reason..i dont know just it bugs me because i fell for the loser..i did.to me hes just a nothing one of those guys who sees you, talks to you and then drops you and thats whats making me so picky is because i meet guys and im so fucking picky i just pick the worst things out and thing about that and i have to stop that and i just dont know evan again i get back into him but i dont know what is with him..but i actually like him..and i like him for him and not anything else..he treats me right theres not one thing that has made me not want to go back to him..i cried tears because of him because i know i want to be with someone like him.yet i know we are parting a bit and i dont want that..theres something about him i just cant let go..theres another close friend of mine..i see almost everyday and hes great and such and i talk to him and we are fine.but i look at him and i think evans better..evan this and i just cant let go no matter what .i talk to him almost every night and every time i talk to him.he gets better i dont know i just tell him something and i know he wont backstab me or turn on me..and i can always go to him and ugh i hate boys.i really do.. but moving on.. friends..awe man i get into this so much but its crazy all i ever think about is them.i fall asleep thinking about what i may have done or what i could do or if i did something and they get me so confused and for me its hard for me to relate to them they both have had boyfriends for quite awhile and i guess i pretty much learn off of both of them and i think that has something to do with my pickyness which isnt badd at all..because its really showing what i want and stuff and i dont know they make me so confused because i love them so much but i still feel like i havent done the best job..and i try..but it never seems to work out or come out of me..and lately we've come closer a bit i opened up to one of them and it really helped it showed me what i need to do and try and i guess awe man i just have a ton of catching up with just because after all the times we've gone through i can see im going somewhere with them i dont want to lose them next year..or any..and i dont know what they think but i just know theres something between us and i know we havent showed it yet and its hard to explain but this is weird i hate attempting to write things in here just because i never know how to put it like baileyys entrys im not joking they inspire me.i can read them 10 times and learn something every time its crazy..but i dont have much else to write well i do but my fingers are getting tired so i will catch up laterr gatorr mackenzii