Hmm...well...life is good...no actually I guess it's great...but, however hard I try, I just can't seem to enjoy it...not completely anyway...I mean...everything's just as it should be...but still, I can't sleep at night...and I'm not entirely there during the day...it's like...well, I don't know what it's like...but it's not normal...what the hell is wrong with me...can anyone tell me?? No, I guess not...I havn't let anyone get to know me...so no one could know what's wrong with me...hmm...I need to change...somehow...I need to wake up and live like a normal person...you ever noticed that everybody seems to have there own little group, a stereotype that explains them...everyone has one...everyone except me...well, I guess I might...but I just don't know what it is...heh...and everyone has something their good at...something that will probably be their future...or could be at least...I don't...I have no future...I have no hopes...no dreams...no wants...no expectations...nothing...it almost seems like I'm not meant to have a future...that I will have no life as an adult...not even exist...I don't know...I'll prolly get killed or something...and don't be thinkin I'm suicidal either...I see no point in it...if you got life then might as well *try* to make something of it...however hopeless it may seem...no...it's just I don't see myself existing in the future...but then I guess I can't predict the future either...I don't know...heh, wow...I just realized how depressing this entry is...I guess it's not overly depressing...but still, it's floating around there somewhere...heh, didn't even mean to make it lie that when I began...only meant to try to make up my last two attempts at an entry...which I guess I'll start now...hmm...where to start...well, me and Sheila are finnaly going back out...and I say finnaly because she made me wait until Christmas...she wanted to do this thing where she asked me out under the mistletoe...kinda cool...but she coulldn't find any mistletoe...so she ended up just asking me...she wouldn't let me ask her for some reason...but I guess It woulda happened anyway...I mean...it was more like we we're going out just before christmas than it has ever been before...cept maybe during the summer *looks down shamefully* (most who read prolly won't understand, which btw, I'm sorry about that, guess it don't matter now tho)...but anyway...yea...christmas was good...heh Sheila's mom even gave me a stocking with a few presents...which were a cool pen & pencil, and a Barry White cd...who I really like for those who didn't know...bah most of you prolly havn't heard of him anyway...he's an old singer...Sheila didn't even know who he was...but he's cool, nonetheless...I also got a sweater from Sheila. which, although it looks pretty preppy & I've already had many a wisecrack about it, I still like it...hmm, let's see...what else...I got cd's and a game from my mom...Good Charlotte, Sum 41, and Green Day...all cool cd's...and Need For Speed Underground 2...a really cool game...OH, AND I GOT MORE TOOTSIE ROLLS!! Heh...even stole half of my bro's...keh heh heh...sorry...I just really like tootsie rolls...oh...and I found out my uncle had a shit-load of awesome cd's...so I burned em, and now my collection is 23 cd's larger...hmm...and my cd case is full now...yes, I mean that huge 100+ cd case I constantly carry, is full...can't tell I like music, can ya??? so if anyone want's to give me a late christmas present...that's what you should get me...a new cd case...or more cd's...can't have enuff of them...oh...somethin else I feel like puttin in here...I got stuck on bass in my band, instead of singer...we found someone better than me...which actually isn't that suprising...but he's Cameron something, a freshman...apparently got a punk voice so we let him sing...heh, and his cousin is our drummer...Robbie somethin...Caltof or somethin of that nature...but it's all good...I prefer playing bass...nobody can hear ya screw up...which is what I'd be doing up on stage...most likly anyway...but yea...robbie is supposed to be over today so we can start practicing the song we gonna play at Battle of the Bands...guitar part is pretty cool...and robbie says he's got the drum part for it...heh, and I still havn't learned my bass part...oops, I guess I'm not as enthused about BotB as everyone else...oh well...going by the speed of the guitar part it shouldn't be that hard...it's relatively slow...which wouldn't really be my preference for a competition, but I know my brother would come up with another gay song if he was to make a fast one...and I don't have enough skill on the guitar to be able to make my ideas work...so I guess I'll have to settle with this one...it's actually not bad...speed's the only problem I got with it...so yea...well...I think I've been typing for 1/2 an hour to an hour now...so I'm gonna give my fingers a rest and go take a shower since I should be waking up about now...laterz (heh, anyone else notice the rapid mood change at the beginning...I did...heh, I'm weird...well, later)