Well i was thinking bout sam the other day considering everything and it kinda hit me that im ready and i could see myself with sam... i knew that it was more of a confirmation then a decision but anyway. I really like him, can definatly see myself loving him but then i got a sms from him the other nite after work saying it was a bad time for him and he just wanted to be friends. first reaction was 'huh?' but after reading it a few more times i realised wat he'd said. Then we're the tears, so after i calmed down i called him, if he was to gutless to call i was gonna have to. Spoke to him about it and he explained it a hell of alot better. He's year 12 was his first priority and it just wasn't the time for him to be preocupied with a relationship. Which is totally understandable. I mean i was disappointed but after hearing that i felt better, in control... THEN he says, 'its not like i WANT to do this, i mean i really like you, but i realise it's just not going to work, we'll see how things go next year.' that didn't help. Injecting me with false hope, wat the hell is he thinking?! I don't want to have to think that there might be something when no one knows what either of us will be like in a year. I dunno, it just makes me miss him even more. I mean i keep thinking about him knowing that he's probebly dropped it and left it behind. I dunno, i'm hopeless i spose. I just wish i knew what he's thinking.