i will talk about volleyball first. the year 11s have put a team in the rainbow comp this year. the 'hot shots'. we have abbey, nadia, joe, pondy, spew, benny and me in the team. and as much as nadia doesn't like to think it, we have a damn strong team. we were on a winning streak, starting the year off with 2-0, but last night we got taken down. i wouldn't of minded anyother time, cuz i only play for a good time and i love the sport. buuut we got beaten by the 'originals' the most hated team in the comp. they are fuckers with a capital F. we came close in the last 2 sets. we were 3 points off and then 5 points off in the last set. bit of a bugger that we couldn't win at least one set. joe was off. i don't know what was up but it didn't seem like the big man really wanted to be there. usually he has a pair of the safest hands on the team, but last night he just didn't get into it. pitty. there is this one guy on the 'originals' and they call him sparrow. he once played state volleyball or sumthing, but that was many many moons ago. he thinks he is a big man cuz he can spike it down hard on ppl (girls mainly). last night i was at the net and he jumped up to spike it so i blocked his shot and i fucked him up good. the ball came back with all his force and hit him square in the face. i call the shot 'fuck you bitch'. hope he hurt for a bit after it. mother fucker. we do have a strong team and i have a feeling that we might do a bit of alright for the rest of the year. the other day at school we set the alarm on the 'smart board'. it kinda sounds like the school's fire alarm...and we turned the volume up really really loud...and then left class. mr cook was packing up his books after the bell and the alarm starting going off. ha! he didn't know wat to do. he ran out the room and stood in the quadangle and was yelling at everybody to go out on the oval (where u are meant to go when there is a fire). all the kids new it wasn't, so they kept walking...haha! mr cook was like "ok guys lets go to the oval...quick...HEY! don't go to class! can't u hear the alarm??...don't ignor me!....come on, quick!!!" hahaha. fuck it was a pisser. when he found out what we had done he got a little bit upstairs and made us write lines lol. was talking to mrs petschel the other day. just having a general chat about things. we got on to the topic of suicide. (i was telling her about when rebecca rang up the other night and was saying she was going to kill her self...i asked what i should do if she did it again) anyways...so we were talking about suicide and then she told a story about her when she was younger. i thought i should write it down, cuz it just blew my mind.... she had a best mate in high school. they both planned to be teachers after they finished and do everything together. then mrs p decided that she wanted in on law. so she went her own way. she came to see her mate one weekend and found her hanging in the garage. she said looking back on it now it must have been funny if sumone was watching her react to it. i could kinda see the funny side...in a sick kinda way. anyways...so mrs p said after she gave up trying to help her mate she read the suicide note. and it kinda blamed her for not being a teacher with her mate. now that would fuck up the most strongest of ppl. anyways...last year mrs p gets a letter in the mail. it's from her old mates mum. it said that the husband had just passed away and that the suicide wasn't her fault at all. the father had been touching the daughter for ages and she just wanted out...and the parents thought it would be best if no one knew...so they made up a pretend suicide note. how fucked is that?? i think it was the first time i swore...like said 'fuck' in front of mrs p. i was shocked to say the least. who does that?? on a much lighter note i wanna talk about flozz. :) i was at work tonight annnnd my boss was looking after a little 10year old girl for the night. so in the end...for about 45mins or so i entertained her. i took the wrath of her making fun of me...i got told that i'm a loser and i look like i have head butted a tree....yeah...lowest point of my life, getting picked on by a 10 year old. lol. but i did notice one thing...she was cool and really cute. and in a way she reminded me heaps of the was me and flozz are together. i don't mean that i'm in to flozz cuz she is like a little kid and i dig little kids...i'm just saying that flozz is really really cute and the games me and her play with each other are alot like ones u do with kids. and i think it is the bee's knees! flozz is swimming round in my head all the time now days. she was meant to cum up this weekend, but her old man didn't let her. i'm not real sure where i stand with her old man. don't know if he is too happy with one of his little girls dating. lol. all i'm saying is..too bad. it's not going to stop me. there is one thing that blows my mind with flozz. it makes me see that there were a few things with rebecca that i never really liked that much. the best eg i can cum up with is this- i will tell flozz (mucking around) that i don't like her anymore...and she will answer with 'i don't care...i still want you, and thats that.' with rebecca i would say that and she would say 'fine...' and wait for me to say sorry or what eva. the way flozz does that shows me that she really wants me. i am a big believer that little things make a shitload of the big things. u always have to start off small before u can get big. me and flozz have a crap load of little things...like 'in' things. only me and her understand them. and i like it that way. she really makes me happy...like not just happy...but really glad and gives me that extra spark that i thought i had lost. she is special to me...words can't express how much. i best be off...i'm gunna start to try to write more in this again.

i was talking to floz night on the phone. she said that she had sumthing to tell me..sumthing important. i listened to her. she told me that she had kissed another guy. at first i was dissapointed. it kinda hurt a little, but then i pulled my self back into line and remembered what had gone on between me and rebecca a few days ago. i went to see her on her birthday and to see if she was alright after losing a mate in a car accident. one thing lead to another and i kissed her. she didn't me...i kissed her. i was in the wong. by the sounds, floz was in the wrong aswel. we both fucked up. so now we are on the level. we were both wrong, but in my eyes it has canceled out. i don't have any feelings toward what floz did...it was a mistake, and the best of us make them. the strage thing is...it kinda kicked me in the chest. it made me see that i could lose florianne..and i don't want that. it made me want her even more. mixed up sum strong feelings for her. so after we finished telling each other our stories of cheating...i asked her out. i didn't want let her go...so at 11:07pm on the 15th of october...it was official. i now have a g/f..and couldn't be more happy with her. on a different subject all together...i was watching coach carter before and there was a cool little speech getting said, so i looked it up and thought i might save it here. really means sumthing i rekon... -Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. i rekon it's kinda cool...

last night (the 14th) was rampage. the one night that i have been looking forward to for a very very long time. and it did not dissapoint. me, spew and pondy met up the servo before we went to the bus. got sum tea there and drank sum strongly mixed bundy and coke. lol. pondy didn't drink...not sure why. we got on the bus and headed off. there was maybe 6 ppl from rainbow on the bus...abbey, molly, pondy, spew, abbey's little sister and me. fucking stupid when we tried to get the bus going so heaps of ppl could go. we stopped off in on the way to birchip to pick up hopetoun guys. they filled the bus. lol...and just because the hopetoun ppl are lacking in the brain department..they all had beers and goon bags on the bus. lol. me and spew were flying just a little above sea level after our bundy...and cuz we know the hopetoun boys...the offered us a lot of free goon...and countess beer. me and spew aren't one to knock back sumthing like that and take the chance of offending sumone, so we took them up. by the time we pulled up i me and him were flying at around 30 000 feet. nothing could bring us down. lol. i think spew and me were the band's biggest fans for the night. we had two songs dedicated to us...highway to hell and another one (can't remeber). and we scored high fives off every band member....even the drumer. lol. after that i wanted to find the reason i went to rampage. i found her outside. looking just as good as the last time i saw her. we had a quick word, but then spew dragged me away to see if the next band was as good as the last. after a short while...i managed to slip away and went looking for floz again. i found her cuming down the stairs this time. she wasn't getting away from me agian! i pulled her up the stairs and put arms round her. i knew she looked good, but up closer she looked fucking great. it was good holding her close. thats when the night sped up. i can remember all of it, but it seems like time went into overdrive. god damn floz looked so good in that red dress. she was soooo damn sexy. and i i would be lying if i said that she was a bad kisser. there was this one thing that she does that made me smile...and it felt damn good...when we kissed she would slide her arms under my shirt and put her hands on my back. i liked it heaps... god damn. lol. i'm haiving a little smile to myself as i wirte this. lol. im thinking of all the things that she does that i like. she is so cute..it makes me feel bloody good to think that she is mine. i can promise it won't be the last time that i write about floz...i'm sure i will be seeing her very soon again.

this was awhile back, but me, spew, joe and pondy did the 2nd starlight stumble. we didn't make it the whole way this time, partly cuz pondy went into melt down, and it just didn't really have the feeling that the last one did. we walked about 18kms this time. can't remember the time for it, but it wasn't that bad. i rekon we would have beaten our last time if we had of kept going. we started from my house this time, we didn't get dropped on the out skirts. sooo...we fucked on the school roof for a bit. got up there by doing the 'great tank jump' lol. spent awhile up there screwing around, then made our way up to the bunkers. we wresteled up there for ages throwing each other off and what not. then we found a random pile of spades and rakes and brooms....so we played sword fights with them. lol we finally started making head way, but then the temptaion of chasing sheep just had to get to spew....so off he went. lol. it was a harvest moon that night. it was meant to be the biggest moon around 7 years...so it was kinda cool. i don't know why it didn't have the feel of the last one. i wanna keep doing the stumbles, tho. they are good fun. the next one will be better

well for the school holidays i spent the whole 2 weeks up in queensland with mum and dad. we stayed at uncle doug and aunty narelle's joint. had a ripper of a time. it will take much too long to tell the story in full, so i will just chick sum dop points down and expand on them later if i feel the need. -flew up (2 hours) and got in at about 1 in the morning. - spent the first day fucking around..dad and uncle doug got drunk and giggled all night - went out in uncle doug's boat to have a look at the water...ended up getting stuck on a sand bar. had to get pushed out by uncle doug. dad took his pants off.... - went to the bundy factroy. saw how rum is made and also got much of the product myself lol. - went to fraser island and went all round it. got to see a fresh water lake that was really beautiful. went for a swim...stole sum sand. - went whale watching...the fucking boringest thing that is ever known to man - went to the south bank market - went fishing twice...caught one legal fish for the whole (about) 18 hours we were on the water. - drank a beer tower at my cousin's pub. - spewed it all up the next day in the boat while fishing. hahaha - built a damn good rock wall with the help of dad, uncle doug and mum. hard work. - went to australia zoo...snor-fest - watched dad fall out of the boat while trying to jump onto the sand...ended up in the water. - went back to melbourne...caught up with uncle sime and aunty michelle and little sam. was beaten up 5434 times by the little man. - got home and crashed after a massive holiday. it was a real good time and i don't think i would have rathered do anything else with my time. there were many good afternoon naps and just lazy moments, which i think i needed. lots of funny shit happened up there aswel. good times

me joe and lucas have been talking about it for a while now. we wanted to walk from joe's joint to rainbow (round 25kms) in the darkness of night. we decided that a cool name for it would be "the starlight stumble" or just "the stumble" for short. on saturday night me and joe finally got around to doing it. it was a shit that spew couldn't cum with us, but we left the planning too late and he didn't have the right things to go. i met up with spew on saturday night, just before i got off work and i was talking to him about it. the silly boy was keen and ready to make the walk in a pair of globes and jeans. i wouldn't let him. as much as it would have been cool to have his company...no man is dumb enough to walk 25km in shit fitting globes. joe came round not long after i got off work and we put our things together. with a backback full of- 4 apples, 2L of water, 12 cans of VB, 1 glow stick, a reflextor vest and a shitty sports drink we headed off. the going was more than good for the first hour. we covered more ground than we thought we would and had a nice wind at our backs. the main reason we chose to go from rainbow to joe's was the wind. the moon was bright and we could see for miles. after the first 5 kms or so the track we had got wrecked so we had to move our walk onto the road. we had drunk a few cans very very quick and were very light hearted. i think this is where our speed decreased. lol. every car that we saw cuming we would run to the train line and take cover...fuck nos why. we were more than happy and i decided to call up flozz...after all, she is my drunken phone call buddy. lol. i talked to her for ages (maybe) and it was good to hear her voice again. she spoke french to me and i pretended i understood, then i asked her to be my g/f for the night, then i told her about me secretly naming 'the stumble' after her...well...the "starlight" bit anyways. lol...that was meant to be for my ears and mind only. lol. after i got off the phone to her i was in a good mood. talking to a good looking girl always seems to lift the spirts. next we had a quick (1 hour) stop in a paddok so joe's g/f could call him. while he was flapping his gums i ran off and hid in the longer shit. hahaha he couldn't find me. we pressed on. with half way passed we were in a good mood. while almost getting run over by the hopetoun cop and hiding in the trees, i did sum nice damage to my leg. lol. got a nice lump on it still from the beautiful dive i pulled off. that was when i had the brain wave of stealing road posts. it was a great idea...they look cool in ur room, but we had to carry them the last 7kms. lol. after paddok hopping the rest of the way to joe's, we pulled in at 2:43am. that is roughly 5 hours and 34 mins of walking. not a bad effort for two young bucks that were under the influence. when we got to joe's he cooked up sum pizza, chicked strips and dim sims. a feast for two young gods after a death march. will we do it again? hell yeah...it's the first of many "stumbles" across the country side. who knows...next time there might be more beer and more happenings. ***the first ever starlight stumble was completed in 5 hours and 34 mins. it was started at roughly 9:00pm on the 9th of september 2006 and was finished at roughly 2:30am on the 10th of september 2006 by simon matheson and joe vallelonga

Results of the Emotional IQ Test Your score = 116 What does your score mean? Your Emotional IQ is very good - slightly higher than average. This means that, in general, you are able to express your feelings clearly in appropriate situations. You effectively communicate, interact with others and deal with stress. These skills will certainly bring you long-term benefits such as stronger relationships, better health and personal happiness

on tuesday this week we had the inter school aths against birchip and hopetoun. most years rainbow goes and just fit in as the place fillers, but this year was heaps different. i will first talk on my efforts and then talk on the whole school effort. i was in the most amount of events that u can go in on the day (6). i had- 200m, 400m, long and triple jump, javelin and shot put. i did alright, well i did more than alright. i did heaps better than all the other years that i have gone in events. i pulled 3 fouths, a third in triple jump, a second in javelin and my first ever 1st in long jump. god damn i was pumped when i won long jump. i wsa so pleased with myself. i've always wanted to cum first in sumthing in inter school aths..and i came so very close last year. but this year did it for me. out relay ended finishing a very close 2nd to birchip. there would have been a bee's dick in it. i ran the first leg and was like a shot. my hamstrings tightened a fuck load in that race, and as i write this, they still are wound tight. anyways when the time came to call age group champions, i wasn't listening because i'd given up on ever reaching my hardest goal. ever since i was in year 7 i wanted a age group in inter schools, but i gave up on it a long time ago. so when my name was called out i didn't hear. lol. i was fucking shocked, i knew that i had tried my hardest, but never in my wildest dreams did i think it would all be enough to get age group. i was a tad excited to say the least. i ended having 25 points the next closest was my man spew. he was in second equal with a birchip monster. now to talk on the school's effort. god damn. we had 9 fucking age group champions out of the maximum of 12. we fucked both birchip and hopetoun in the standardised aggreagate and we a small 22 points off cumming first in the grand shield. never in all my school life have i seen rainbow perform so well in sports. i don't think the little year 7s understand how well they did. not to be sounding too gay or anything, but i was proud to see how well everyone did. next year...the shield is ours! now the most important thing...i got to spend the day with flozz. i was looking forward to it all day...one could even say that i was looking forward to it all week. was really great to catch up with her. i was getting a little bummed out half way through the day because i thought i wasn't going to be able to pull her aside and have a good chat with her, but right near the end i caught her and talked to her. she has a cute smile. and i like her body language. it isn't too keen, but is far off being shy. it's kinda hard to explain, but i like it. i like her hair aswel...lol. god damn...i'm not going ot make a list of everything that i like about her, because i'll be here for too long. an important thing that happened was that she was there to see me win the age group. that would have to be one of my highest goals that i have reached yet and some one that i like and think is special was right there next to me when i did it. kinda was special to me..well more than that..was bloody special. i watched her in her events and she has talent. she is an all rounder really. she has speed and good strenght. i can remember her right arm strenght quite well....*thinks back to concussion from alpine party*. nah..lol. she did really well tho. even if she don't think she did, i rekon she is a damn good sports person. well that was my day. full of nice suprizes. i must sign off now...as the 2006 boys under 17 MSSSA age group champion. it will never happen again, but i'm glad it happened this year.

i went to the dimmy freeza on friday night. it was a good time. me and pondy had a little to drink before we went. pondy was in one of his sulking moods and he wasn't drinking much...the bus was cumming and we were late, so i downed the last of the vodka. i can't remember the bus trip there. i was quite drunk. lol. cum to think of it, i can't remember much of that night. i ended up picking up becky. i think me and her both knew it was going to happen. but it was good none the less. just quietly, after being with her the things rebecca used to say about her look to be quite true. just a little feeling that i get. becky sent me a txt on saturday morning asking if i wanted to go any further with our little one night stand. i would have liked to say "shit no" but i opted for the polite way. i blamed VCE on me not really wanting a g/f at the moment (which is a down right lie). but she took it and it was left at that. saturday was nadia's party. the most talked about party of the whole year. everyone was pumped to go to it. i slept all day saturday, just so i could be charged for the happenings. we got out there (me, lucas, joe, tammy and tammy's mate) and everything seemed to be looking up. a good night. me and spew spent a little bit strapping glow sticks to the american football so we could play when we got out the creek. it worked a charm. looked fucking cool when u threw it aswel. the night kicked off and there was cheer in the air and much beer. we played a little bit of full contact grid iron, got hurt, played again and then went for a walk down the creek. everyone was happy. pondy was the first perosn that i saw was acting different. me and benny were talking a little way from the fire when we heard sumone trying to sneak up on us. we had a look round and finally found pondy in the shadows. it wasn't a "haha" hiding, it was a kinda freaky "i'm listening to everything ur saying". and from what i hear he followed joe and tammy when they went to have a little "alone time". joe caught him watching them. god damn. and because there was a girl from out of town there (tammy's mate) all the boys were after her like a bitch on heat. qj was trying his very hardest, so was lucas and pondy. the girl told qj that she didn't like him very much, but he wouldn't listen. pondy ended up pulling Q off her. thats when the next strange thing happend. qj just broke down and started crying like a little girl. like...real crying. and he wouldn't stop. and for the rest of the night he shut down and wouldn't talk to anybody. just sat and looked at the firs like a crazy man. bianca and ben faught. binaca is very different when she drinks, she told spew that she wanted to get with him...she kinda lashes out when she is drinking too. so anyways...ben punched a tree and broke his hand and rolled his ankle sum place. nadia was angry...she has PMS every 3 days, so it was nothing new, but is still didn't add to the positive mood. spew got with the girl from out of town, but when he was...pondy came up and started grabbing her boobs. thats just fucking wrong. when joe offered a life back into rainbow (i don't think he was having a very good time either) i took it with open hands. so the night was cut short. i got back to my joint at about 12:30. i'm a little freaked out by pondy's actions last night and a bit shocked about Q and benny. joe was talking to me before we went and he agrees with me. i have always said that if it was a bigger school, sum of us really wouldn't hang out. i think me and joe would...and spew. but the others...they wouldn't. they are too different. i don't want to be getting drunk with sum of those guys for a while now. it was kinda scary to watch them change from mates to bloody monsters...all in their own little way.

last night was the last night of badminton. it was the section two or as me and abbey call it "the shit" gradfinal. it was our team against mrs petchels. yeah we kicked ass. i had been dropping hints to dad all week to come and watch me. cuz as much as i try to play it down or hide it...i like it when he watches me at sport. same with mum, but sport is a "guy" thing...so i like dad watching. he came. was good to play and know he was there just to watch me. it was the best by far that i have played all year. nothing was getting by me and i cleaned the floors winning all 3 of my matches. sumthing that i haven't done very much this year. it was a good night. we had to do this thing before it...all the parents came and we talked about "fad diets" and how they don't work. it was g-a-y. all it was, was health care ppl talking about how u will get way more fat if u try and lose weight fast and in stupid ways. we did an act (the students) and we were different ppl, and we had to put our point across. i got the dietitian role. so i thought that i would turn him in to a poof and get a laugh out of everyone. i don't think many ppl heard what i was saying becasue the whole room was laughing at me. yeah...it's kinda scary watching a room full of parents pissing them selves while you are trying to act gay and put a point across. lol.

today was the house aths. the mighty force of west came into the day with heads raised and a taste for blood. as house captain i watched everyone today. i told myself that if anyone wasn't trying i was going to have a word to them. out of all my young men, i only had to pull one aside. i spoke to cluggy. i guess he doesn't really count because for me to count him as a person, he would need a brain and a grip on life...so maybe we can just count it as i spoke to 'something'. i was more than proud when, at the end of the day, more than a few of the ppl that won age group champ were west. it must have been maybe 80% west. none of my men complained when it was their turn to go up an age group. or if i put them in an extra event. they all just put their heads down and delt with it. i was proud to be west captain today. the green army showed great team spirit and wonderful effort. because i was captain, i got all decked out in green. got my hair sprayed a nice shade of green, rubbed green zinc all over my face, had green army pants on, a pair of dodgy green sunnies and my trusty green singlet that i stole from the school in year 7. i did all events and pulled all thirds and seconds. i missed out on the 100m because my little legs can't take me as fast as the others. never fear...i still have gazelle in me. i came a nice second in the 200m and third in the 400m. i was happy. lucas was a champ today. he didn't complain once. he was the best vice captain that i could of asked for. he was always there by my side cheering on the little ones. good on him.he gave skinner a good run for his money in our relay, too. pondy was one that was a good man today, as well. he didn't bitch once, and put his head down and won a few hard races. was good to see him going for his all. and as always..joe was there to fucking try to get out of events. lol. sadly, i'm a hard ass and he was going in everything i put him in. he did good today. when the event started, he never bitched, just did it. all the older west boys did a bloody good show today. i was happy to have them with me. show the little kids that trying IS cool. i took out age group champ. was a surprize. i'm more than happy with taking it out. i'm sure it will be my last year with it, so i'm cool with having it this time. i thought spew would get it, i wanted him to. he put in a good effort today. my speeches for the 'shield'(trials) and 'cup'(aths) were different. it has always struck me as odd how the house captains say a quick thank-you and then run off. so today i took my time and thanked everyone that helped out. it's not like they didn't deserve a 'thank-you'. benny's mum rekons that i'm a smooth mover on the mike and joe's mum rekons i should be a politian with my smooth talking. lol. i have been known to dig myself out of sum big holes with my smooth ways. (many a time i've managed to stay in class and get out of detention with my swift tongue. one thing that i would like my kids to have) thats about all. it was my last duty as a house captain, but i have enjoyed every part of it this year. i hope to get it again next season. for the last time...i sign off as an age group champion and the house captain for 2006.

i will start from the middle. the other day (monday) i was coming out of the 'smart' room..i had a arm full of books and nadia was coming up the stairs. she kissed me. i was god damn shocked and didn't know what to think. me and her had been getting along real well..it just came as a surprize to me. anyways...(monday night) i was sitting down eating tea. i get a call from my boss. (last time i worked she was baggen' nadia out, and i didn't think it was very nice, so i told nadia....also told nadia not to tell anyone.) so i'm talking to sam and she asks me "simon, u didn't tell nadia about what i said, did ya?" i'm not one to lie to my boss...so i told her straight that i did. the story goes, that nada told her ex...and he was abusing sam for saying shit. yeah so that puts me between a rock and a hard place. makes me look like a little snitch and i have been fucked over with my trust. what to do? first i rang nadia and told her that i knew she kinda broke my trust and landed me in shit. she re-acted strange. we agreed that it was a good thing to cool it for a bit, but then she started saying that i led her on and that she has strong feelings for me. she has been broken up with her b/f for all of 5 days and already she has strong feelings for me...thats bullshit. i wouldn't and didn't let her turn it on me, she was in the bad for breaking my trust. next thing to do was go face sam. i talked to her tonight and told her i was sorry for telling nadia. i thought i was helping a mate...but i learnt different. there is no excuse for telling others what ppl said about them...playing all sides. i was in the wrong. i smoothed things over with sam..and talked to nadia at the start of today. i don't know how to take her. she tells me now that i hate her. (one thing that gets my jocks in a twist...when ppl tell me what i feel) i shouldn't talk to her, cuz it's only going to keep her feelings going for me. i don't know whats up with her. i know she don't feel anything for me. amyways...in a space of 24hours i got things running back on track again. i shouldn't have told nadia what sam said. sam don't have any right to say things like she did, but still...i shoulnd't have told anyone. i'm cool with talking to nadia, cuz she needs sumone at the moment. she is fucked in the head after all her crap with her ex, and i'm more than happy to talk and listen, but no more. a big thank-you must go out to my constant wingman, mrs petchel. she was the one that noticed the problem was kinda getting out of control for me and took me aside and laid shit down for me. i'm still not sure what i would do with out her. she has had my back more than once. i want to pay her back one day. thats about it for my 15 hour ass fuck...i'm just happy i got things sorted. never underestimate the power of talking things out with everyone invloved

well the social was last friday. it wasn't too bad, would have to be the best one that i've been to in rainbow. nadia and abbey put in a fair effort to get everything going, and it turned out damn good. the same rules were inforce like always..."no drinking" me and pondy kinda ignored that, tho. lol. was the first social i have drank at..wasn't all bad either. i didn't go over board so everyone would know, i told a select few about the go, but other than that...no one else found out. i can be in control when i'm drunk.. molly and myself were on the door, so we got to meet and greet all the wonderful ppl that came. dimmy was the only other school (birchip and hopetoun pulled out). it was a good time talking to everyone that came in..funny as well. like always "freestyler" got played. the breakdancing circle formed, but no one would go in it, so i pulled of my beautiful "worm" to get things going. then i threw them a nice back handstand...and to finish it all off i got spew to stand still..and i did a massive leap frog over him and then a tight karate flip. lol. i'm sure it was much more sloppy than i remember... i did the introduction for the band. my five mins of fame was extended to maybe 7 and a half, cuz the band had sumthing wrong with the leads (or sum crap) so that left me in front of the crowd trying to think of fun things to bring up. i was sooo crap that the crowd started yelling "acers..acers..acers.." so i guess i kinda made them want the band more. lol..or i just sucked. lol. i made sure i danced with all the younger girls. lol. i remember watching scott when i was a young tacker...he used to do the same. i danced with 10 different girls all up...thats about half the ppl in our school (not really) lol. it's funny to see the young girls...year 9 and 10..being all shy when i asked them to dance...if they turned me down, it only made me want to dance with them more. it's a social..u have to have fun, no point sitting in the corner. had a chance to get with nadia, but it got killed. bill took her home straight after it, so that was a no go. would have really liked to, but there is always another time. things are strange with me and her at the moment. she has just broken up with her b/f of 2 years..but she has been hitten' on me for maybe 3 months now. so she is into me...and i'm in to her. she tells me that she really likes me and cares for me..but sum how i still think she just feels a little "how ya going" after breaking it off with her b/f, so she wants sumone to liek her. a close mate told me if i was to go for it...leave all feelings at the door (i think i just might). i'm not sure about how she really feels, i know i don't feel very strongly for her, but it's more of a lust. sad...making a bad name for guys. not sure...but i will update as days and weeks pass. got the aths 2morrow. should be good. my goal was to get the age group champ...but now i'm easy with just having west win over all. i gave myself a kicking becasue i was too bussy thinking about myself...wanting to win, and i'm house captain...so i should be looking at winning over all and getting everyone pumped. i want west to win.

half way through my post hang over sleep today, scott decided to ring me. ( i didn't write about me getting drunk because it wasn't really worth it. me and joe got smashed and climbed on the high school roof and played football up there...went home and drank some more..watched terminator 2 and went to bed ). so i talked to scott...i have no doubts that he was drunk. it was cool to talk to him. it's been too long since me and him have talked. he did a lot of dumb shit when he was my age and i like to hear stories and advice to help me out. i've come to the conclusion that all teenages do dumb shit...no doubt, the best way to combat it is let them know what u've done so they can learn from you. i miss scott. i can't help but feel he was stolen from me. we were getting along like a house on fire and then he fucked off and chased his now wife. he is half a world away and i miss him. i'm glad that he is happy with sara...but how can he be my big brother when i've seen him maybe 3 times in about 3 years? i was a cunt to him when i was a kid. i used to push and push until he went over the edge and snapped. he just to bring the pain to me and then he would get in trouble cuz of it. it was always my fault. i'm sorry about that. like i said, i'm glad he has sara. sadly..i'm not that warm toward sara. in my eyes, she stole him. even the few times me and him have been together..(alone)..he talks about her..or her rings her (or she rings him)..or sumthing happens and it ends in mine and scott's thing being mine, scott and sara's thing. sara is a champ. i like her, but it don't really stop the feeling that she took sumthing that i really love. i want my brother here. i want to get drunk with him. i want to get advice from him. i want him to be there when i do well in sport. i want him to help me with school work. i want him to be the one that is the most dissapointed with me when i so sumthing stupid. i want to fight by his side and against him. i want my girlfriends to meet the guy i talk about so much. i just want a brother that is closer. ever since i was a young tacker, i used to watch everything he did and try and do it as well. i thought he was the bee's knees. i hear all the stories of uncle sime and uncle mark and what they used to do. i want to do that with scott. i'm scared that when (if) he makes it back to australia he will be too mature to be a bogan, a nuff, a drop kick, a dunder head, a lout, a holligan, a yobbo, a ruffian, a hoodlum...anything with me. i want to tell my kids stories of the silly shit i used to do with "uncle scott". i miss the guy that is one of my best mates, i miss the guy that understands me more than anyone else, i miss my own flesh and blood...but most of all, i miss my big brother.

i haven't talked about my work yet and i guess it's just a good idea to put sumthings down about it so i don't forget in later years. i work at the local servo. i'm "hot plate boy". no other hand is faster or more skilled at cooking. i'm the best and brightest in all of victoria. lol. i like to think so anyways. my main job is to cook the foods on the hot plate, but every now and then i answer the phone, talk to customers, be the "roll bitch" or the "salad wench"...and after every night i sweep the floors and bring in all the shit from outside. i empty the bins and wipe down the tables...and on slow nights i mop the floors. i get $10 an hour and a shit load of understanding in different things. i like it because i get to read the customers (and workers). i have little profiles on most of them..it's kinda cool cuz i know how they react to different things. everynight i get off work i smell like chips and the fat they get cooked in. my boss (sam or reg) tells me everynight that "you're a good worker". i've been working their since summer last year and have to regrets in taking the job possition. good times.

after about maybe 3 and a half weeks of not talking to rebecca, i rang her last night. thought it would be like old times..i should have known i was going to be wrong. i had a fuck load on my mind and needed to talk to sumone. she is my first person (was my first person) that i look to to sort out my dirty washing. she used to listen and help me out...but now things are different. i told her straight that i needed sumone to help me..i needed sumone to listen to my shity little problems....and she told me straight back that she didn't want to listen. fair enough she has more than enough of her own shit to deal with...but still... she has always been there to put me back on track and lsat night she told me, in less than maybe 6 lines, she don't wanna hear my crap at the moment. well that fucked me. i don't know where to look for help now...cuz of her i have standards. a lot of ppl aren't meeting them at the moment...which leads me to lock shit up and get in fucked up moods. not cool. i don't know...it's selfish to look to her for help at the moment, but she has shut me out...and in doing that she has shut me down for the moment. because i'm not telling sumone my crap, i haven't been sleeping the best. cuz when the lights go out, i start to think. kinda sucks...all the little things are starting to add up in to one big ass fuck. i don't think she understands.... on shitter news i found out today that my go to lady at school...(mrs petchel)...just got ass fucked. her winner of a husband just up and left her. no reason...he just walked out on her...the stories go that he fucked off for a younger teacher that was a teacher here last year. i have no respect for that fuck anymore. no fuck should up and leave with out telling their partner. mrs p is a stand up kinda girl. i got nothing but respect for her...and he has turned round and ass fucked her. i got nothing but love for mrs p. she has always been there for me. thats about all at the moment. nothing else is really going on. i'm kinda missing sumone to talk to at the moment...but i will get there in the end.

got back from the snow about a week ago now, and i still haven't put it in this, so i thought it was time. i had a bloody rippa of a time. me and lucas had a room together and we stayed up late each night and talked about anything and everything that came to mind. we had hopetoun school with us as well, so it was different to see how they act. (fucked up if u wanted to know). it was bloody fun. there was a big dump (maybe not that big..) of 25cm of fresh powder on the first day. we sutied up and went downhill skiing. it took a while for me and lucas to find our legs, but after a while we were back to the good old times. on the second day of skiing we went cross country. wasn't that bad, but cuz our group was so good, the dude took us up this massive track..(about 8km round trip..) i was rooted up the bum after that shit. but it was good to get out and see all the trees and other crap covered in snow. on the third and last day we went downhill again...we got to pick our groups. i was with 'number 1' group....(the best people). we went all over the shop. we went down a thing called the "fox trail" and hit sum little, but mean jumps. i stuck with matilda for all of the day and me and her had a great time. we hit sum bigger jumps right near the end. it was bloody great. i got massive air off the last one and almost stacked it on the down ramp. i got to meet heaps of cool ppl up there when we weren't skiing. there was some very nice looking girls up there....i had to pick the one that was Q's ex tho...didn't i?! Q had been talking to me a while back and said he didn't want any one from rainbow getting with her...i agreed with him...(stupid). so up at the snow me and vee start getting a long like a house on fire..and we both wanna get together, but i can't cuz i told my man that i wouldn't. if its one thing that i have learnt (the hard way) it's always ur mates before girls. don't get me wrong tho...vee is fucking good. there is much good things about her. too many to list in fact, but i can't go behind a mates back. even if she is fucking cute and says and does all the right things. damn... the one thing that is kinda pissing me off is this- i did the hard right. i picked the shitty (but right) option and Q hasn't even said thank you or anything. i could of and really wanted to pick the easy wrong, but i stuck with my mates over a girl. i coulda picked the beautiful vee up and kept it from quentin and everyone else, but i didn't. it was very hard to turn my feelings off toward vee... he didn't even thank me for doing what he asked. i'm a little dissapointed. but apart from that...it was a good time. wouldn't have not gone for the world

i know that i did write an entry ages ago about the alpine school (TAS), but i think i only really touched on it. it has only been the past few months that i see it was a kick ass time and i want to go back there and live. lol. i figure i should write down all the stuff i can remember about the good times, before i forget. it's going to be all over the place, but i don't care. lets start with the first expo. we were walking through this field covered with bloody holes, but we couldn't see them because they were covered with grass and shit. so every few steps u would fall in up to ur waste and have to crawl out. knobby half dying about 500m away from camp. his pack was "too heavey" and it stopped him from breathing right. lol. he just dropped and kinda fainted on the ground, no one really cared. then there was the beautiful hike that me and joe took to get the fucking fire wood. we had to carry about 30kg worth of shit to set up the fire over a river and through about 400m of a valley with hidden holes. we ended up falling in the river and in 2342345213 holes. we got to cam and were told that we probably wouldn't have a fire that night!! lol. next lets look at the free time we were given up there. becasue there was such strict rules on fun up there, we had to make our own....and we did. i will never forget all the fucking holes we put in the boys common room walls. from wrestling t stab passing the football into the walls to letting go of golf clubs accidentlly. then there was the "chair chicken" that joe and i decided to try. that was just me and him sitting on chairs and flooring it down the hall way at each other. then there was the wall jumping. that was where sumone would jump and put their feet against the hallway walls...and seeing who could stay off the ground for the longest. the illegal toboggan tracks made. american football in the snow...soccer in the snow. making out with my girlfriend in the snow. making a snow cave with my room mate, only to find it smashed the next morning by golfclubs (we rebuilt it likes 23 times). eating snow. thinking about good food. on the subject of food lets move on to the time when joe got food poisoning. lol. the fucking chow min that the fat chef cooked up was still alive, and i told the big fella not to touch it, but like always hunger gave way and joe ate it. well he was up for the rest of the night (with half of the school) shitting and spewing (i don't think the big man spewed) it out! lol. lesson learnt- don't eat asian food. next would have to be when joe and i got in shit by a angry motorist! me and him were in dresses and fur coats..(taken from the dress up bin)we had to dress up to be sheep and get filmed.. and we thought it would be a pisser to wave to passes by and be sluts. that lasted for all over 1 car..and the guy kinda locked on his brakes and turned round and came back. he was like "are you two ladies alright? having car trouble are ya?" and fuck me...i thought i looked good, but nothing like a real chick...and i got joe next to me with shoulders wider than a fridge. i don't know what kinda chicks the guy was into. anyways after a brief exchange of words the knob found out that we were male and went fucking nuts. and with him asking "what are u meant to be anyways??" joe's tongue didn't fail him with the reply "we're sheep..." his face was fucking priceless. i think he thought that we were from the mental home. then there was 2nd expo. a death march in the snow and fucking wind. i caught myself i nice case of hypothermia while trying to put the tent up. the teachers told us to put it up with out gloves on...have the eva tried putting tent pegs into the frozen groung with out gloves!!!? it was a strange feeling. u kinda don't feel cold and u are just tired and feel like u are floating. the told me to warm my hands up by putting them over boiling water. i couldn't feel shit and when i looked down i saw that i was resting my hands on the side of the pot with my fingers in boiling water. not clever. the next morning i was fine...but we had to get off the mountain that we had camped on cuz there was gale force winds forcast by lunch. so we ran like 100 gazelles off the mountain. then that same day knobby dropped the bundle. fuck head. me and joe had to carry his pack (another 23kg for us to put on our backs) and also cary him. i was all for leaving the little fucker in the snow. how many ppl can say that they and a mate dragged a crying 16 year old bloke up a 20m steep grade and then had to slide back down to get his pack....then watch a teacher help pull his pants up because they fell down and he couldn't pull them back up?? i would say not many. i really wanted to disown that little shit..or put a bullet in his head. by the end..we covered over 30kms in white out conditions. beautiful. there were so many good times had up there. fucking hell. i really wouldn't have traded my time up there for anything. the ppl that i met and still keep in contact with are unreal and the memories are second to none. fucking good times.

for a while now i have been paying close attention to what me and my mates say. like the slang that we use. i think it is funny because if u weren't from the country or from australia u wouldn't have a clue at what we were saying. i got a little kick out of writing down all the crap i heard in a short week. here it is.... She’ll be apples- (my understanding) everything will be fine… “Don’t worry, mate, she’ll be apples!” Balls up- (my understanding) I very bad mistake made… “No one knew what the go was..it was a huge balls up” Bastard- (my understanding) mainly used with mates, meaning good things... “Good on ya, you bastard!” Cobber- (my understanding) a mate… “ G’day cobber” Bloody Oath- (my understanding) swearing that something is true… “Bloody oath it happened!” Bludger- (my understanding) a very slack and lazy person… “He is a useless Bludger” Burl- (my understanding) giving something a go… “Come on mate, give it a Burl!” Cark it- (my understanding) to die… “Jimmy carked it.” Chockers- (my understanding) very full… “The bag of chips is chockers” Cactus- (my understanding) something that doesn’t work any more… “The T.V is cactus!” Elbow Grease- (my understanding) very hard work… “Worken up some elbow grease, are ya?” Fart ass around- (my understanding) wasting time… “Stop fart assen round” Franger- (my understanding) a condom… “Whack on a Franger before you nail her” Get nicked- (my understanding) telling someone to go away… “Get nicked fuck head!” Hooley Dooley- (my understanding) very shocked or surprised about something… “Hooley Dooley..they didn’t!?” Hooroo- (my understanding) a way to say god bye… “Hooroo mate!” Knackered- (my understanding) very tired… “After soccer I was knackered!” Keen as mustard- (my understanding) very enthusiastic… “I’m as keen as mustard to give it a try” Kick the Bucket- (my understanding) to die… “Jimmy Kicked the bucket” Make Tracks- (my understanding) depart from somewhere… “Time to make some tracks” On for young and old- (my understanding) a fight of argument that is out of control… “it was on for young and old at the party” Scarce as hen’s teeth- (my understanding) very very rare… “I found a opal, looked like it was scarce as hen’s teeth!” Piece of piss- (my understanding) very easy… “I’ll be able to do that, piece of piss!” Shit creek- (my understanding) in a lot of trouble… “Mate, we are up shit creek, without a paddle!” Yakka- (my understanding) work… “That was some hard Yakka!” Thunder Box- (my understanding) a toilet… “I’m going to the thunder box” Rough as guts- (my understanding) very bumpy or uneven… “The road was rough as guts!” Safe as houses- (my understanding) extremely secure… “Not far to base camp, then we will be safe as houses.” Paying through your teeth- (my understanding) paying large amounts of money… “They charged me so much I was paying through my teeth” What is this…bush week? - (my understanding) it’s not slack off week… *some one asks for something* “What is this…bush week or something?”

i have yet to write the repot for soccer on thursday, but i will put the over view on this for starters. we played hopetoun first off. i was voted captain for both matches. we had 4-3-3 to mix it up a litte. me and benny (the renowned 'black assassins') played right and left wing. the other on baller for the game was jackson. joe, lucas, skinner & lach all were our defense. and we had pondy, knobby and dezza on the attack. that left big davis in goals.... out first goal against hopetoun fell when one of the hopetoun boys tried to clear the ball and kicked it as hard as they could, but the ball hit knobby in the face and rebounded in to the net. the nest goal fell for us when pondy fired one in from mid range. by the end we were 2-0 and on top of the world. we really didn't give a fuck how bad we beat hopetoun. we are all mates with them, so it was just a school yard match. next we took birchip on. the match ended in being a 3 all draw. fuck i tried my guts off in that match. we played 4-4-2 for that match.and some how all our on ballers were pulled to out back line, and me and knobby got pushed forward. the blokes that scored for us in that match was dezza and pondy. pondy got 2 beautfiul penatlies and dezz got a nice round house slam in. we ended up cuming second, after a count back was done, it was found that birchip scored 3-0 against hopetoun, so they won by 1 goal. i was a little bummed that we came so close but got our feet pulled from under us at the last push. but thats the way life treats ya. i watched a movie once..it said something like this- "there are events that everybody has to live through to gain a better understand on why they are here. going through teething, losing your virginity, losing important sporting matches and growing old are all on the list." it's true (about losing sporting matches). u have to lose and know how it feels to be able to know how it really feels to win. there is always next year. how did i play? i would say very good. i have nothing to prove to anyone here, so what would be the point of me lying. i made up my mind many months ago that this diary is gunna be for my family. what would be the point of me making shit up about soccer matches that won't even matter in 10 years time!? so i will tell the truth. i played good. i had my bung ankle strapped tight and not a care in the world when i was out there. my passing was accurate and my forward pushes were strong. i let my self down with the old stamina, but that can only be improved on next time. i was more than happy with the way i perfomed. i have always found it unreal and almost religious the way that when i play sport i lose all thought of the outside world. all that matters is whats in the court or field. i forget all my imperfections and all my worries, and get fully absorbed into the game. i find myself worring of only the set time limit of the game. nothing else matters. the 90mins, 15mins, 16secs...what eva...is mine to do what i want in. i only act with what i know i can do...no one else is telling me what i can do. sure the coach or captain might put me sum where and tell me to perform a certain way, but it's me, all me, that ultimately knows my next move or capability. it's beautiful. i have been addicted since i was young. and will be for many years. there is always next year to win the soccer. and i will be there- rain, hail or shine.