Well lorne went off but i ws a naughty girl which kinda ruined it for me. I got a bit drunk one night and got with this guy. I regret it of course and ever since i've been in tears every night. i haven't seen paul since i got back and didn't want to tell him over the phone. I feel so awful. i hope he forgives me and we can work things out but then i dont deserve him. i'm thinking i should maybe break up with him so he can find someone worth liking. I cant believe i did it. After how much he trusted me. i dont no wat i'd do if he did forgive me. i'm in no way deserving of his forgiveness. I no its not the worst possible thing to do in a relationship but it is to me. i've never cheated on someone before and although this was jst a kiss its more then i've ever done in terms of cheating. and to paul, who's done absolutly nothing to deserve it. ABSOLUTLY NOTHING. i was thinking that i'd lost feelings for him before i went away but now i realise i've lost him all the feelings are back. I'm in no way expecting forgiveness and even if he did he deserves better. i no i've lost him...wat have i done.