So a couple weeks ago I jumped on the MySpace train. I feel so...conforming. Oh well. It's pretty cool mostly, and my sister and brothers are all on it so that's cool. Anyway, apparently Friday there was this really nasty bulletin posted about some "snobby *itches" in our school with a petition for people who agree to sign. It was one of the rudest things I have ever read. It didn't come right out and say anyone's name, but the descriptions of the people are very detailed and it's obvious who they're talking about, and those people know that it's about them! It's just so mean, and I'm embarrassed and disappointed that one of my friends actually signed and reposted it! It's horrible. I'm not even friends with the girls that it's about; in fact, I think those girls can be extremely rude a lot of the time, but still, no one deserves to be trashed, especially for the whole world to see! Between this and all the crap on the bathroom stalls I just have to ask: WHERE IS THE LOVE?!?!?!?!

Ugh. Boys. They're kind of stupid. (No offense to those of you who are boys). Is it really that hard to be just friends with a girl? I mean honestly. It's ridiculous. But at the same time I know from experience that it can be hard to be friends with a guy and not fall for him. Most of the time though I've realized that in fact I didn't actually like the person that way, I just got my feelings confused. Sometimes feelings suck. Sometimes feelings are the most awesomest things EVER! *sigh* I guess the awesome feelings wouldn't be so awesome without the sucky feelings. Life. It's so...Life. As frustrating as it is sometimes, I have to admit I LOVE it!!!!!!

I think that the word "senioritis" is a very cool word, however, wouldn't it be even sweeter if 'senioritis' was now called "seniorsmitis?" It just has a real nice ring to it, ya know? Now, don't ask me how or why I came up with this term. This literally just popped into my head as I was coming up with an entry title. I think perhaps from now on I will forever call it seniorsmitis! You should do so too! It'll be fun!! :)

"Nature itself reveals its creator." -Unknown

New Year's Eve was so much fun!! I went to Crystal's for a few hours, and we drank fake wine (which is so yummy!) and straight lemon juice (don't ask, lol), and we watched the Exorcism of Emily Rose! Holy crap that movie is freaky! Like, beyond freaky!! I am still having a hard time falling asleep 'cause I keep thinking about it! AHH! And then we watched this freaky thing on her computer that freaked the crap out of me! Then the ball dropped and it was great fun! After that we went outside and had an awesome snowball fight (Adam Klockziem totally tackled me with a white wash! Ouchies!), and then me, Mir, Julia, Vanessa and Rachel went to Julia's house and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith and then went to sleep. And apparently I was laughing in my sleep for about 45 minutes. I dunno. That's what Mir said. Anyway, I should go to sleep now! Nighty-night! Hey, and watch out for those bed bugs---they bite!! (hehe, I'm just so clever...ok, maybe I'm just lame! lol)

Wow, I'm an idiot. Last night Rachel (Griffin) came over, and my parents were gone, and we watched America's Next Top Model for almost 9 hours! How sad is that? But the really sad thing is, we are obsessed with that show now, and would probably watch another marathon of it (from a different season, of course). But yeah. It was nuts. Once we watched a couple episodes we just had to watch and see who won. We also prank called Jess, from Montana. He was one of the prankers that called Michigan people when I was out there, so we decided to call him. We pranked him a couple times, just saying random things, and then we ended talking to him for over 2 hours! It was crazy. But it was fun. He's a pretty funny person, and real easy to talk to. But Rach and I are really stupid, because we ended up staying up until 5:30! Which means that 'cause tonight's New Year's Eve, we'll be staying up uber late 2 nights in a row! AHH! Oh well. It'll be fun. I'll probably pass out as soon as the ball drops, but oh well. :)

Oh my stinking potato peeler. I am so sick of this ridiculous song in my head. My dad said something about Chanukkah starting yesterday this morning, and my mom started singing the Chanukkah song (you know, "Chanukkah, oh Chanukkah, something something menorah..."), and it got stuck in my head. Now, many many hours later I'm still singing it and it's driving me nuts cause I only know the part that I just wrote, so I'm saying that same part over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and I think I'm done with the 'and overs" now. Yep, I am done. And now it's Sims 2 time. I haven't killed anyone lately...muahaha. Just kidding! Vanessa and Nick were accidents, and I'd really rather something like that doesn't happen again! Ciao!

Fair is foul and foul is fair. Never have those words had so much personal meaning. I feel flabbergasted, stupid, slightly betrayed, and so many other things. But I'm glad I know. It'll make the moving on process much easier. I realize how non-detailed I'm being and how ridiculous it is that I am, but I want to and have to. And I'm writing in this because I just need to vent. Besides, it adds more mystery this way. lol. I am a dork. Do any of you have any non-detailed or detailed experiences of this line from Macbeth being proven true? If so, share! Or don't! Whatever floats your pretty little boat! If not, don't share! Or make one up! :) lol. Ciao!

So here are the lyrics I promised earlier. Granted, not every single part pertains to me, but most of it does, especially about the taking a risk thing. I'm bad at the risk-taking game...! :) Grew up in a small town And when the rain would fall down I'd just stare out my window Dreamin' of what could be And if I'd end up happy I would pray Trying hard to reach out But when I tried to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanting to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I prayed I could break away [chorus] I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I love I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Wanna feel the warm breeze Sleep under a palm tree Feel the rush of the ocean Get on board a fast train Travel on a jetplane, far away And break away [chorus] I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun I won't forget all the ones that I love I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Buildings with a hundred floors Swinging round revolving doors Maybe I don't know where they'll take me But, gotta keep moving on, moving on Fly away, break away [chorus 2] I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta Take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget the place I come from I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Break away Break away

I love Christmas! Not because of all the presents, which are tons of fun, but just the whole atmosphere of it. I love all the joy and love that people spread. I'm sad it's basically over. :( But the atmosphere will stay (with me at least) for a couple more weeks. Actually, I like to think it stays with me all the time, but that's for deeper, much more spiritual reasons that I'm not going to get into right now. Anyways. The past couple of days I've been thinking about college and stuff (surprise, surprise), and I got the 'new' Kelly Clarkson CD for Christmas (I love her!), and so I've been listening to "Breakaway" a lot, and I've decided that's kind of my theme song for this year and how I've been feeling. So I'm going to post the lyrics in here. I think I'm going to post them in a different entry tho, cause I don't want this to be uber long. So yeah. :) To Be Continued...

I got the awesomest book for Christmas this morning, the third in the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" series, titled: "Girls in Pants." I think it's definitely the best one so far (although they're all great, and there had better be a 4th one coming!!!), possibly because I made such a deep connection with it, which, I know, sounds completely creepy, cause, well...it's a book. But I do weird things like that. I make connections to animate and inanimate objects. I think that comes with my empathetic-ness. I feel what others feel, especially in books and movies, and of course with people I'm close with. With strangers it's still there, but it's not usually even half as visible. Anyways. I started and finished this (pretty big) book in less than a day. It was beyond amazing (the book, not the fact that I finished it. I love reading!!) And I learned a lot from it. Well, I 'spose that's all for now! Merry Christmas! :)

I just had one of the saddest Senior thoughts. :( I was just thinking about how my sister's having twins, and I was uber excited and stuff, and I was thinking about how cute their picture will be in my locker next to my nephews next year. And then all of a sudden I realized I wont be having a locker next year or ever again! :( I LOVE MY LOCKER! :( This is very sad. Maybe I should become a doctor just so I can have a locker again. Or I could fail Senior Project. No, that'd be a bad idea. I suppose I'll just have to get over it, eh? Well, anyways. I think I'm gonna go play the Sims 2 now (I'm finding myself becoming addicted to it once again..!) If I don't write again before this, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :)

Holy Toledo, it's freezing in my house right now! BRR! I hope my dad starts a fire soon (in the fireplace, of course!). Lol, speaking of fires, I totally killed Vanessa and Nick last night. I was playing the Sims Makin' Magic game and I made the Burger family (lmbo) and Nick was cooking (with 0 cooking skill), and the stove caught on fire, and he tried putting it out, and then he caught on fire, and then he died. Lol. And then Vanessa ran over and started freaking out and tried to put it out, and then she caught on fire and then died too. Lol. Is it bad that I'm laughing about that? I mean, it is just a game after all. And I didn't save it, so they're still alive. Lol. I'm being really anti-social tonight. I don't feel like doing the whole game/dance thing. Not in the mood. I just feel like hanging out at home tonight. Is that weird?

Last night I went to bed at 9:00 (it was amazing! 9 hours of sleep!). But as I was lying there trying to fall asleep all of a sudden I started thinking about all my friends and how after graduation I might not see some of them for a really long time, and some of them maybe never again. I got uber sad, and I kinda got a little...emotional. Thinking about it now is hard too. But I was just thinking about how much that is going to suck. And yeah, I know I'll make new friends, but I love the ones I have right now! I'm excited to make new friends, but I'm not excited to lose the ones I have now. And I know that I'll probably stay in close contact with my closest friends, so I'm not too worried about them, but I am worried and sad about my friends that I'm not uber-de-duber close to, and ones that I've made this year. What's going to happen next year? I've met so many cool people and I don't want to lose them! :( I'm especially worried about all the friends I've made in Montana. Those kids are awesome, and what's going to happen when Carrie goes to college in Missouri next year? My connection to them will be severed, at least with some of them. That sucks. A lot. True, Carrie's family will still be there, so during summers I could probably go visit Care in Montana. But still. It just really sucks. At least I'll be able to see some people when I come back to Rosco for breaks and stuff. But what about after college? My parents occasionally (and by occassionally, I mean like, every couple years) talk to like, one of their friends from high school. How sad is that?! And my brothers and sister, who have only been out for a few years, only talk to a couple of their friends. I don't want to be like them. I want to stay in contact with my friends, and see them at least a couple of times a year. And like, Justin, when he becomes famous is he gonna turn into a total jerk and not talk to any of us from high school? Cause that would totally not be cool. I think I would kick him in the face if he's like that, especially cause he'll have to talk to me sometimes because I'm going to be the author of his biography (The I Hate Justin D Club--look for it after he makes it big). Wow. I just realized that I'm freaking out about things that I shouldn't be freaking out about. I should just enjoy this year and summer, and then let the future happen, and do everything I can to stay close to my friends. Ok. It'll be ok. Being a senior is pretty cool sometimes, but not when you realize what you lose in the whole thing. ...Of course, I should probably also realize that I'll be gaining things too. *Sigh* Growing up...It kinda sucks sometimes.

Fair is foul and foul is fair.

Kawaii. Another new word. I wonder what it means. I'm gonna go look it up on an online dictionary thingy. Ok. So I've looked at a few different dictionaries and that word apparently does not exist. Hmm... Oh well! I wrote our family Christmas letter today. It was lots of fun! And we got our Christmas tree! YAY! One of the things I like about myself the most is how resilient I am. When bad things happen to me I'll get upset and cry and feel like everything's basically hopeless, and then I'll stop crying and everything is suddenly better, and I'm full of hope again. It's weird. But I like it. It makes life much easier for me. I just always know that I'll be ok. That probably sounds uber cheesy, but I don't care. And this will sound probably 10 times cheesier, but I know that I'm this way because I have God in my life. Anyways, I should probably get ready to go baby-sit! (I'm watching Mrs. Backus's baby, David tonight! yay!) P.S. I still can't find my heartbeat in my chest! :(

I'm here!! In Montana! Woo-Hoo!! :D I am having soooo much fun! The dance was crazy fun. It was uber high-tech too. There were these 2 screens that would show the music video of the songs we were listening to. It was crazy. We went to this uber expensive restraunt for dinner and it was so disgusting. There wasn't any normal food there! I literally forced some of my food down my throat. It was so nasty. But we still had fun. After the dance we went to her friend Mary's house and stayed there all night, but we didn't sleep. None of us did. We were unbelievably slap-happy. I had this great idea of prank calling people in Michigan at about 5:30 am (7:30 Rosco time) and so we did. That was the most fun I've ever had I think. We were crazy! It was great!Lol. Ham Burger! LMBO!

Today was incredibly long. But not long. It just dragged on and on forever, except for the time flew after school, probably cause I was really busy. I have a bad feeling tomorrow and Friday are going to go just as slow, if not slower. Ugh. Why can't this weekend just hurry up and get here?! Except that when it gets here I'll probably want it to last forever. Last night was so ridiculous! I made the mistake of talking to Carrie right before I went to bed for about an hour, and of course all we talked about was this weekend, and I got UBER excited and nervous, so when we hung up it took me about 2 hours altogether to get to sleep. I didn't fall asleep until around 1:30ish! I was way too excited. At one point I picked up this awesome book I'm reading, Wicked, and read it for a while. Then finally I fell asleep. It was so ridiculous. I was thinking about everything, not just this weekend, and I started thinking about lists I want to make. Just random lists. (I like listing...it's kinda weird...and sad). Anyway. Yeah. Basically I'm losing my mind. Again. Or still.

I think, no, I know, there are many misconceptions about Christianity. When 'non-believers' hear the word "Christianity" an image of some crazy person shoving a Bible down their throat, telling them to not do certain things while doing those things themselves. In otherwords, I think many picture hypocrites. I cannot stand hypocrites, but I especially can't stand Christian hypocrites. I am a Christian, for those of you who don't know, and a strong one at that. (Well, I try to be as strong as humanly possible anyways.) One of the most frustrating things to me is how distorted the image of Christianity has become in non-believers as well as believers. So many people think that it's all about following a bunch of stupid rules that suck the fun out of life. "Fun-suckers" can be another name for Christians to some people. And I'm not gonna lie, there are some fun-sucking Christians. But I think that those Christians have a very distorted view of Christianity. Being a Christian doesn't mean not having fun--in fact, it means having fun in the best and most fulfilling way possible. And it's not about following a bunch of rules, either. Yes, there are "rules" to follow, but there's a reason for them, and if you break them it doesn't mean you're damned to eternity in Hell. Everyone sins. Christians, non-Christians, Buddhists, saints, the Pope. It's inevitable because we're humans and we're not perfect like Jesus was. Ahh, I'm sorry, I think I just got a little preachy, which is what I'm trying NOT to do. I think there are too many preachers and not enough actioners out there. Does that make sense? I hope so. I also hate the word "religion" and it's affiliate "religious." Way too many get caught up in those words. Being a Christian isn't about being religious. It's about having a personal relationship with Christ, and I think people, especially Christians, forget about that sometimes. And way too many people spend too much time trying to "convert" other people than work on their own relationship with Christ, and that's how hypocrisy can start taking effect. Now, don't get me wrong, spreading the "good news" is incredibly important--that's one of the main things Christians are supposed to do, but note that I said SPREADING, not shoving it down throats, or judging people. God is the judge, not us. So I guess that's basically my 2 cents. Take it or leave it, I guess. And I really hope I made sense. So yeah. There ya have it. Have a great day kids! :) ~Emmy Lou

Oh my gosh!! In four days I will be in Montana!!! AHHH!!! I'M SO EXCITED! It's going to be sooooo much fun. Oh man, wouldn't it suck if I went and had a really sucky time?! No! Not possible! Carrie and I together equals tons of fun, so even if things suck, we'll make them fun!! YAY! Whoo-Hoo! Harry Potter was SWEET! Saw it for the 2nd time yesterday. The musical was sweet, if I do say so myself. Still being haunted by the songs sometimes, though. I fear I've got a small case of senioritis. I seem to be procrastinating--no, more like forgetting-- to do things. Like Kuby Chapter 2 in AP Geo. Oi Vey. Anyway. I've got a sweet part in my regular drama class! I LOVE it! And I've got some kinda cool parts in Adv. Drama, but I'm a little mad about a few casting things (some of us seniors got jipped out of parts). Anyway. I think I'm going to check my email now. There seems to be lots there. It's been a while since I've been on here. Alrighty all. Have a splendiferisticly wonderful day/evening! :)