Alright kids, I'm trying this entry one more time, and this time I'll be copying and pasting it. I know that it's going to be so different from my original one, but that's what makes this interesting and fun. Alrighty, here I go. So I burnt this CD (shh! don't tell the coppers!) that has a bunch of theme songs on it, and dang it. :( I just found out that my kitty, Toby, got hurt today. Again. :( That sucks so much. I hope that he'll be ok!! Well, anyway... So I have this CD, and it's got the Full House theme, and the Happy Days theme, and a Folgers radio commercial, and a '60s Alka-Seltzer commercial (it's amazing!) and it also has the Brady Bunch theme on it. So I was listening to it yesterday while attempting to write an entry, and the Brady Bunch song came on, and it got me thinking about the show and about how innocent it was, which made me think of how many people are losing their innocence now that we're 'growing up.' And I don't mean by sex, although for many it includes that. What I mean is the gain of knowledge and worldly experience. In the past year alone I have found out and realized so many things that I wish I didn't know. In a sense, I have been corrupted. In fact, for some it has become a sort of sport to corrupt me. And that's just mean. I mean seriously. You may laugh at my 'innocence' but it's something that I want to keep and something that I think the world needs more of. I think we've lost track of innocence and naivity. And I know that in many ways naive-ness is a bad thing, but I think that it can be a good thing. I mean really, is it necessary for me to know some of the things I've been told? No. Definitely not. And as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss. We're always told that ignorance is bad, but sometimes that's all I want. I don't want to know bad things about people. I don't want my optimistic, hopeful outlook on the world changed. I like it how it is. But I'm not saying that I want everything sugarcoated, cause I don't. I know that I need to be realistic, but can't you be realistic while still holding onto your innocence? Growing up is such a strange and beautiful (I know, I know, I'm getting kinda cheesy, but I'm serious) experience, when we experience it when we're supposed to. But all these young kids in like, 6th grade are getting pregnant and swearing like sailors. It's ridiculous. What is happening to our youth?! It's scary. Kids are losing their innocence at alarming ages and rates. And what for? Honestly, what is gained by having sex so young and out of marriage? Absolutely nothing except for babies. And I love babies. But I don't love babies having babies. And what is up with swearing?! There are so many other creative, much more fun ways of enhancing your vocabulary. And frankly, people tend to just sound silly when they swear. Wow, I am totally getting away from my original point(s). Anyways, back to growing up. I've been learning a lot about myself lately, and I find it exhilarating. Terrifying, but exhilarating none the less. And I probably just slaughtered the spelling of exhilarating. Ah well. Sorry Miss Young! It's so awesome to learn stuff about yourself. Like yesterday, I learned that I can at times be hypocritical, and I stumbled upon that when thinking about my experience yesterday reffing Special Olympic soccer games (Des did it with me). It was so amazing to watch and be a part of that. The people were so happy and joyful, and innocent. And a lot of guys there kept hitting on Des and I, but not in the creepy/sleazy way that a lot of guys. It was so cute and, once again, innocent. They thought we were pretty and told us. But note that I said PRETTY, not hot. I hate it when guys call girls hot. I would be seriously offended if a guy ever called me hot. And that's when I realized I can be hypocritical. There I was saying that I hate it when guys call girls hot, yet I call guys hot. For example, Heath Ledger. He's a hottie. So I thought to myself, "Self, how is this right? Why is it ok for you to call guys hot but not vice versa?" And so my answer to that is, it's not. It's not ok, to me anyway, either way. So I'm going to be working on that a lot. And that's what I love about growing up and learning things about yourself--you can fix the bad and enhance the good. How amazing is that?! It makes me so excited to find out more about myself. I can't believe that I a year ago I was so freaked about graduation. Like seriously, any time someone would just say the word I'd freak out. But now I'm so excited. I can't wait. I used to think of it as the end of my life, but now I look at it as the beginning of the greatest adventure EVER! And although I'm going to miss my friends terribly, I'm excited to make new ones. And I want to start now. Saturday night was a wake-up call to me. It was such a great night, and the crazy thing about it was I didn't really hang out with my normal friends. At first I was uber overwhelmed by all those people, and I walked around with Julia not sure of what to do, when I finally broke away and went back inside the house. When there I spent the rest of the night hanging out with different people. It was so great. I wasn't with one of my normal, uber close friends. Talk about FREEDOM!! Oh gosh! That sounds bad. I don't mean that like they're hindering me from being myself. I meant that I realized something about myself that night--I can make new friends. I have had the same basic friends since 1st grade. Well, it started in first grade. Me and Julia first, then Sarah Scow in second, then Des in third (we were literally inseperable) and it's continued growing since then, but I've always basically stayed in my same group. Yeah, I have friends elsewhere, but not friends like them, and I always kinda met them with my other friends. Never on my own. And it is so freeing to know that I can do it on my own. I can be myself around other people. That is so awesome. I used to be so shy around people at first, but now I'm just like, "HI!! I'M EMI!" If you like me, cool beans, if not, sucks to be you! hehehe. And so my eyes really opened that night, and I'm not scared about college in that sense any more. I used to think that I'd never get friends in college, but now I know I can. By my self. I guess you could say I'm becoming independent. And that is so exciting. And it makes me wonder who I'll be in 5 or 10 years if I've changed so much in not even a year. I wonder who I'll be. I wonder if I'll meet my serious and ridiculous goals like getting a picture of mine in the National Geographic and getting married between 21 and 24. Or will God throw me a curve ball and completely change all of my plans? I don't know. And I used to be scared about that, about not knowing. But now I cannot wait. I'm just like, bring it on. I am so ready. So that's basically it. It's a ton different from yesterday's, but still kinda the same. And as for my last serious entry (the guy one), I have one thing to say "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away/ Now it looks as though they're here to stay." (Yesterday by The Beatles, the bestest Beatles song EVER!) I don't think that 'problem' is going to be leaving any time soon. Oh well. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And I doubt this will even come close to killing me, in the literal sense anyway. And with that, I'm out. Em