Well, not a lot major has happened to me except for this week. A friend of mine at work got fired from his position due to his lack of availability to work full time at it. So, his position is available and I deserve a pay raise, so I applied for it. Two other people who have been with the company longer and may be a bit more qualified for it also did. Our new General Manager (Ya, we got a new General Manager) said that it's split even three ways of whom would get it. I just hope I made a good enough impression on someone who didn't know I exited. Today, we had very little work to do with shipping and such, so we worked on cleaning and repairing things. You know, menial tasks that are put onto people who are not significant and are the cheapest form of hourly pay they can muster. You would think that a person going above and beyond their typical job description would get rewarded somehow. Nope. Then, I go to lunch to get my perscription for my medication and find my debit card missing. Since the store does not take credit and I don't have cash or checks on me, I am forced to miss my dosage of my medicine for that part of the day. I leave work finally, (late) and begin to drive around trying to figure out where I left my card. Talking to my girlfriend on the phone, she reminds me of where she last saw me use it. Being in a messed up state, I just cling to that and drive across town trying to find my card. I realize when I get there that I used it there on Sunday and that I had used it since then. Saying this verbally upsets my girlfriend and makes it seem I was blaming her for my wasting of gas in my car and how low my tank was anyways. Again, no debit card, no way for gas. Trying to not use credit here. Lastly, I get home and get an upset dad blocking the driveway with some guy in a trailer with the freezer we sold him and my mom hitting me with her bad day. Seems she has had breast cancer for months and did not tell anyone at all. Luckily it is malignant and not dangerous the doctor says. At this point, with so many things going on at once, I feel some string-like thing snap in my head and I feel like I am part of the most sureal day I have ever known. Everything combined together just makes something snap, and I collapse on my desk after canceling my debit card. Tears begin to fall as hope is lost for the moment and frustration overwhelms this body. I just let go and feel close to passing out and not waking up again. Then I got hungry, so I'm going to go out and get some food... I hope you have a good day... If everyone else does, that would make me a little happier. As for me, I am going to go shove the enchilata of sorrow into my face.

Been a long time since I posted on here again...work and school and group projects and programs to write...I really need a good break from it all. The stress is getting to me. I've got a group project that I am working on that is the majority of my grade in my class and 3 of the 4 members have their portion of the paper done and turned in to each other. That includes me. I am also putting all of it together and making a power point to go with the speech we have to give about the company. I hate waiting on people to do the things they were supposed to do a week ago. The excuse is that she has had internet problems. Well if that is the case, way back in the 1988 era, they invented these things called "floppy disks" that were used as a portable storage device apart from a hard drive so that files could be transfered from one PC to another without direct connection or over the network or such. Nowadays, floppys are even called OLD! There are SOOOO MANY FRIKKIN WAYS to get a FILE to someone else's computer! HECK! PRINT IT OUT! Someone can re-type it in! Do something so that I do not have to sit here and wonder if their segment missing means I get an A or an F! "GROUP" Project, not "Screw you guys" project! Frustration one addressed....now for two. Seems my job is getting more stressful because the upper management wants to see how they can improve things. So, over the course of a week, we had to ship out about 25% of our higher priced items (high end laptops and desktops and almost all of our TV's) because out store had a SKU reduction. Basically, they want to give us less options to sell, hopefully to increase sales and also increase attachment rates of products with other products. Dunno how that actually works, but heck. Let's put this into another market... "Welcome to our BMW dealership! What model did you want? Oh, I'm sorry! We got this one. It's the same thing, right? What's wrong with a used Geo? We put the BMW logo on it! Come on...buy our warrenty too!" Stupid...just stupid....Plus, I had to work on a few weekend Saturdays that I never work in this position. Not to mention the Sunday meetings they had for 3 weeks strait in there too....yes, at one point...7 days of work...plus the usual 5 after that. *grumble* Issue 2.5. Since our store is not selling as well as the head guys think they should be, they decided that things need to be switched around. No...don't leave something alone and repair it...nope...start taking out parts and replacing them with completely diffrernt ones to see if that fixes it. Basically, they took the general manager of some other store and switched him with our store's manager. Yea...now we all have this new boss that we have NO IDEA how he wants things, who is just not at work for one day at all, and also who is not talkative to anyone at anytime. Why the hell do they think this will help? Maybe this issue will take out minds off the previous fifty!? Finally, issue 3. So, after such a crappy week, and after not really getting a good chance to enjoy myself on the weekend for the past 3 weeks...I work hard and duck my head and just trudge on into my job expecting to get my reward at the end of the week. Welp, nope. Sorry. We need you to do this extra job for an extra few hours after your usual job. What? Extra pay? Overtime pay? No way! And for that reward? Sorry, out of commission. Nothing we can do about it. No happy ending here. No grand finish. They all didn't live happy together. More like a plane crash ending where there's a big explosion and then the screen blanks to... "THE END" and you leave the theater wondering why you just spent $6 and 2 hours of your time waiting on that. *sigh* I'm just upset that I don't get what I worked so hard to get to...I can't be mad at the prize, just mad at the journey that I did to not get what I wanted. Sure, you can say I expect too much to get something for everything I do. Well, I do when it is promiced to me, when I get hints that this prize will come, and then in the final hour it's a no-show. Anyone can be dissapointed about that. Just need to vent about being upsent and move on...wait until the next time you have a chance at that prize. I should really find a good way to let out more of this stress I build up. Better yet, I need to find a way to not be anywhere near it. Wish I could make time to make sollutions for my problems, but the problems don't give me that liberty to do so...Such is life, huh? I think after this semester, I am really considering just taking a semester off and using that time I usually have for clas to find a new job. Sadly, I need that degree to get a really good job...thus the circle of death turns over this poor soul. I shut up now...I should sleep or something.

Yet again, I can't relax and sleep. Just too full of energy and such. I've spent the past week worrying a bit about my exam I had today with my doctor, and it turns out I am healthier now than I have been for years. Seems everything is clearing up and the inflamation is almost gone. Hopefully this means I can start getting off of most of these medicines I am on and go back to normal life again. Only problem is that the exam had to put me under sedation, so I slept most of the day until 6. I'm not tired mostly due to that I am sure...Welp. Off to sleep I try and go again. Then, Midterm test tomorrow and Thurs-Sun I am camping with the G/F. C ya!

So, back at work I am after what should have been a 3 day weekend...but no, I had to come in and work half of Sunday. They give me Monday off, but split the weekend in half with extra work on Sunday reformating a bunch of laptops and desktops so some other stores can sell them. Plus, I had to put them onto pallets so that an 18 wheeler can ship them off. Ended up with 7 pallets full of computers that I had to restore. Ya, that is a lot of computers. A good $200,000 worth. And they can only pay me $9 an hour. That's got to be the reason they only pay me that too, so that they didn't have to pay our only technician who gets about $20 an hour. So, needless to say, I am going to demand a raise soon. almost 4 years of enployment and never had a raise because I got forced into different job titles. Somehow, that negates any raise I could have gotten, although I got paid no better. Just a year and I get to look for a real job, like one where people care about the employees, or are at least forced to. At least I get overtime this week and I think I got it last week. *sigh*

Dunno when Webster decided that "pissedoff" is one word...oh well...whatever you say SitDiary So, I'm doing my job....getting the boxes checked in that just came in. I put all the boxes that are directly intended for managers and departments apart from the general ones I open up...and log them on this sheet so we know that we got them and someone picked them up. About 5 minutes after I get done with that, a manager that I shall call Mr. Fat (he's pushing 300 pounds...in his gut) comes back on the cordless phone and begins to open these boxes for the tech services department. Mf. Fat manages the customer service desk and the registers, for your info. After fiding what he was looking for in a Fed Ex Express box, he takes it and another box and does not record any of the boxes he opened/took. My co-worker back here and I page on the intercom for Mr. Fat to call us back. We ask him which boxes I needed to sign as taken on the sheet, which he tells me. Immediatly after that, he blows up at me on the phone about how I should be rushing any boxes with "Tech" on them to the front because he got yelled at by some customer because a technician told her that he computer would be done today and that she threatened to sue us for the cost of her lost labor and bla bla bla. I acted like I was listening at that point. I used to work the counter at the tech shop. We got threatened to be sued about 3 times a week. That's why we have a disclamer sheet that we have every computer checked in have a signed copy taped to it. It states that we are not legaly responcible for that. We don't do work unless that is signed, so her threat was hollow and invalid. So, he blamed the warehouse for the whole fiasco, not the tech who misquoted her repair time frame or the other tech working this morning on the computer and did not bother to check if we had any boxes for him before calling the customer and telling her that we don't have the box yet... I calmly asked that if I brought the box up as soon as I recieved it, 5 minutes before Mr. Fat walked back here, if that would have solved the problem. Mr. Fat of course snapped back "Yes!" rudely. At this point I just got tired of it and told him that I will do whatever my manager (Not Mr. Fat) tells me to do. So, now I'm all tensed up and mad as hell because I did nothing different than I have done for half a year nearly and suddenly I have condemmed us all to an early death due to some old hag pissed that she didn't back up her crap like any smart person does when they have a multi-million dollar business on one computer. Also because the manager that runs customer service has no restraint to his co-workers and has to be a complete ass hole to make himself feel better because he can't see his manhood over that huge gut he has. *sigh* I'm gonna stay clocked in, eat my Cheezsteak and get paid for it. I deserve at least that. that's only an extra $4.50 or something I am getting paid...maybe they can take that out of Mr. Fat's wages or something. Worker's compensation for being assulted by fat... Again in this case, let us look at Proverb 2 on my last post. Why do stupid people breed? Why couldn't Darwin's theory be law? :P

So, I did one of these, I need to do another one.....in refrence to my last post.... Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. there you have it...words to live by. Now, stupid people...shut up! :P Got it? Get it... that makes me laugh...stupid slogan...

Hheehe, bubbly....in my tummy Anyways, just got back from a weened where I drove to Collumbia to spend a day, then have to rush back to make it to a 9 am meeting at work. I hate these meetings. All they do is review our sales goals, how we are not meeting our margin goal to make money, and then we sit and watch the head members of the company poorly read these pre-written speaches about what each department in the company is going to do different, and then not do them. I mean, in the past year, the company has spent over 40 million on this new revitalizing plan to spur new interest and growth in our company. They should have named it "Operation: Copy-The-Other-Guy" or even "A Day Late, 40 Million Dollars Short." Check out this new slogan "CompUSA We Got it. We get it." Now, if we already got it, what the hell are we getting it for? You already got it! Damn, you're greedy. That's like "I'm finished. Let me finish now." DUUUURRRRRRR! Sad thing is, they paid some guy a nice salary to sit in a discussion group with some other people to think about that. I mean, really think about that. I wish I got paid to do that. I mean, it takes me 5 seconds to look at it and make fun of it. I get some great ideas sometimes. I should apply my talents to something that is more productive and could better our state of life...or maybe I will go eat something and forget I said that until later on. But, at the end of the meeting they did say they had some good news...we're all switching to Geico. To that, I stood up and uninated on the table. Because, I got it. I get it. Ah well, I got paid. And if I keep my smart ass comments to myself, I'll get paid. I think I understand that phrase now. "Shut up and do your job." That's what it means...ahhh. I'm in a big red ship and it's trying to sink itself on a big blue Best Buy iceberg. ...Full speed ahead...

Got done with work extra fast today...had a heavier load that usual too...dunno what crack I was on. Ah well, I get to relax before class anyways. If this teacher is like last semester, he's gonna start 30 minutes late...hehehe So....I am gonna go down to Collumbia this weekend for a few days and chill with the David C. man...teach him a few things...ruff up you students and graduates...I hear there is some slaking off in the fun and spontanious insanity department down there...and that is not acceptable. Much mayhem must insue and such...yadda yadda...go get me a beer!

Oh woe, tis but the time again for lamenting. The hour has dawned we all must dread. That beginning division of the year in which we spend fruitless hours so thouroughly distraught by countless pages in ledgers of forced studious intent. Fie, fie to you demons that force your hand onto those we call "student." A pox apon thee, traitorus board of inquizition! Translation : "Fuck! School started!" Now that I am done trying to channel Shakespeare's spirit with a half ass attempt... Let's review my goals and where I am at with them... Complete my degree : Got about a year left, unless I decide to do what I was considering and go for my Masters. I could do that after I get my first degree and do it durring night classes... Get a new job/career : Yep...the jury is still on vacation, not just out. Still at my job...eh, it's a job. And after I get that degree, I should have a lot more options...plus my instructor is very encouraging that I have this semester. She's getting me info on some opportunities she knows of. Happiness : Currently, I am very content. After I can begin on my one life ambition, I will be always happy. Just need to get a job to buy a certain comitting object of adornment worn on a person's finger that has some significant meaning of some sort...but no rush! Enjoy youth!! Yes...drink more beer! Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, work is dull at the moment...waiting for it to start... And now a truck comes....c ya later!

:P Another one... You are 44 years old!! My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 91% on AgeLink: The What is your REAL age Test written by eqreemi on OkCupid Free Online Dating I want prunes! Mmmmm...prunes!

Tried to relax yesterday. Just made me think way too much about things I would like to take a momentary and theraputic break from so I can properly address them. But no, I get asked questions about it. I get pestered by family members as to why I was not in a more positive mood and why I was asking to be left alone for some time. Seems that request translates into "Pester me! I want to talk to you! Disreguard the very thing I asked for and talk to me every 30 minutes to attempt to pry into affairs that are resolved but just need some time away from exactly what you are doing! Thanks." *sigh* And not to forget, other people have issues at this moment too. Poor David C. After my day, I decided to sit down and play games online with David. But, our game gets interupted at least 4 times for phone calls from his friend Courtney's father trying to get a hold of her. I do understand the concern of a father..but Courtney was in the shower for 20 minutes or whatever. Hard to answer a phone like that, huh? (copy so I don't loose it) SO, in summary, I feel like I need to just realize I do not get to relax. I do not get a moment like I am asking for. No matter what, something is going to interrupt me and acuse me to stress out. I attempt to do this for my health, but seems that is going downhill due to this too. Lack of sleep + Stress = Beginings of a relapse of Colitus attack. *cheers* More medical bills, hopefully not. *sigh* Can someone just ship me a case of Nyquil and then call in to work for me tomorrow? I wanna go where I'm happy and don't have to think. I'm gonna go call the one person that I can confide in and I know loves me. Jesus...wait! He didn't pay his cell phone bill. Gonna call Diana instead.

So, let me attempt to repost what I was saying...gonna put down the phone now and not talk to my love of my life that I am attempting to mend ailments with, and the reason for this post...*sigh* I'm tired, I'm worn out. My brain physically hurts. I mean, really. I now even have to re-think what I thought and typed into words that I felt finally put my emotions and thoughts of the past few days at rest. After this weekend, I am going to be 100% selfish. I rarely do this and I hate to when I do. I'm going to take a break from all things human interaction-based. I just need time to myself and my thoughts for 12 hours or whatever I get when I don't sleep. After dealing with very necessary discussions through yesterday, last night, today, and tonight, I need to relax and clear my head. I want what was discussed to sink in and really take root. Sleep might help, huh? I feel as if I am a structure and that I have been ripped from my foundations suddenly. I must do everything I can myself to keep this structure together so that I can return back to the foundation I know and dearly need to survive. At the moment, that foundation is part of what is testing my structure. I do need to remind myself that I should rely on myself always more than anyone else. (breaking at this moment to Copy all the text I typed) I may be short tempered in the near future, as I am taking more extreme messues to alieviate problems that are shaking my foundations. Just smile and go about whatever. Just know at some point, we all need to ignore the voices in our head and all the voices around it. I just can not get away from that which is causing me grief, no matter any physical, emotional, or mental distance. Maybe if I try harder I can. Man, this is no where near what I typed the first time...but at least a small part of it is here. (Copy text again)

Welp, just lost my 20 minute entry I was typing. It was all insightful about what I was thinking and feeling for the last few days, but no, SitDiary decided to log me out because I was on the phone talking to my girlfreind about the same issues I was writing about. And no, we can not write and XML script or something to just log out the person or even notify them...nope, we just stay logged out until we click the "Save" button and then the page comes up 100% blank... Very cute...no warning, no option, just "I don't care what took you a long time to write, that must mean that it has no importance at all..." I really appreciate your consideration for a lenghty thought process and emotional thoughtput that is a journal, but don't take more than 10 minutes to think or else it's meaningless. Two words. Bull shit. Hope it actually posts that. P.S. - Seems it is more important to toy around with Friend's lists than it is to improve the posting system.

Hehehee...again a quiz from Okinaide...had to take it 2 times...told me I was a friggin Unicorn...*cough* gay *cough* SphinxYou scored 40% Esotericism, 64% Power, and 54% Malevolence! The Greek Sphinx was a demon of death and destruction and bad luck. She was the offspring of Typhon and Echidna. It was a female creature, sometimes depicted as a winged lion with a feminine head, and sometimes as a female with the breast, paws and claws of a lion, a snake tail and bird wings. She sat on a high rock near Thebes and posed a riddle to all who passed. The riddle was: "What animal is that which in the morning goes on four feet, at noon on two, and in the evening upon three?" Those who could not solve the riddle were strangled by her. Finally Oedipus came along and he was the only one who could answer that it was "Man, who in childhood creeps on hands and knees, in manhood walks erect, and in old age with the aid of a staff." The Sphinx was so mortified at the solving of her riddle that she cast herself down from the rock and perished. My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 23% on Esotericism You scored higher than 72% on Power You scored higher than 76% on MalevolenceLink: The Mythological Profile Test written by LacedWithASmile on Ok Cupid

*rubs his eyes* Those 4 glasses of CocaCola after 9pm were a very bad idea. That medium sized coffee at 11pm the night before was just as bad. We're running on a grand total of 5 hours of sleep for the past two nights. Why did I say "we"? *sigh* I figured I would watch a movie to put me to sleep when I got home last night. No, instead I watched it all the way through. *shakes his head* Dunno why I thougth that would work. So, no more caffene for me for a week, minus my green tea. I need that at least. Besides that, I feel horrible. I vanish from existance for years to my friends, only to have them return when they are moving away a bit, or far away. I've squandered my past years doing nothing, being nothing, gaining nothing (minus a wonderful relationship I have). A friend mentioned that his oppinion is that every person is born with a purpose in mind, something they can achieve and susceed or fail in. Wonder what my purpose is... Did I already find it and complete it? Fail it? Ignore it? Miss it when I was in my coma-like state of the past years? All my hopes rest in completing a degree and getting a different job. I question if that is going to do anything at all. I've felt that a degree will be the answer to what I have been working for. I'm not so sure now. My personal goal is to have a family to take care of, but I feel like I am further from that than I have ever been. It's probably the caffene and lack of sleep, but I feel like there is this gaping, empty hole in my chest at the moment for some reason. I'm so stupid...why do I give people reasons to doubt me or question me when it is the absolute farthest thing from my mind? I'm gonna go work now I guess and try not to pass out on the steel table in the sea of boxes and freight. Wish me luck!

For those fortunate enough to have one, there is no better blessing in the world than a time-tested, tride and true friend whom you have shared ages of memories with and can come back to after time passes. After being a stupid shut-in for about 4 years, I am so very happy to have my old friend back. I'm through my dumb phase of whatever I was in. I miss the times of years ago in grade school when we were only pissed that recess was too short. So, after not seeing my best friend from grade school, middle school and high school, (and even my first year in college) for a few years, I get the chance to chat with him for a few hours with some more friends in a little coffee shop and just smile at the old, comment on the new, and make fun of the Cubs beating the Cardinals. With the monotony of my everyday life as of late, it is so refreshing to have my past come back to pleasently kick me in the ass. And it was a good ass kicking, like the kind you do when your compuer is acting bad and it actually fixes it. I'm at a point where things are coming to a close, like my college and my goals to that point. I need to just step back as I finish them and just revel in the amazing journey I have had up to now. So, to all my friends even. Thank you for kickin my ass the whole way...it may be sore, but it is a better ass because of it. :P

D&D Character Quiz! :P I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Mage Ranger Alignment:Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'. Race:Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance. Primary Class:Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this. Secondary Class:Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy. Deity:Mystra is the Neutral Good goddess of magic. She is also known as the Lady of Mysteries. Followers of Mystra wear armor and carry shields with her symbol on them. Mystra's symbol is a ring of stars. Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail) Nerds will rule the world some day...

Playing guild wars....bored at the moment... Here's my latest Yarfo post...enjoy! Yafro Moblog

At work again..dang these trucks are slow lately. I seem to have broken my hold against coffee now. Been getting coffee each morning at QT on my way to work. Damnit...I don't need caffine, but I DO! AHH! Especially after sleeping for like 6 hours strait, then not able to get up and feeling like I didn't sleep at all. I am so tired. I'm gonna go home after tonight and just pass out. Maybe I will get enough sleep and have a good morning tomorrow. Signed up for classes yesterday and went over my progress with my councelor at my college. Seems I only have 1 year left. Finally I get my degree and can start to look toward a job, you know, a REAL job. One that won't stab you in the back so much. One that I can wear other shirts to maybe.. AHH Truck is here...gotta go

Ya, I slept for a few hours last night. I need to get my sleep schedule back up to normal. I seem to loose it on the weekends pretty easy, just staying up and watching TV or such. Ah well. So, what's new with everyone? I hear Miss Ravenfox is moving :( . Wish I could do that. Getting ansy (however ya spell that) to do something different like that. Still looking for a job too. Always looking for that as much as I can. *sigh* So I get some time on the computer because my boss is always late and comes in at 10:30 and the other guy that works with me back here called in sick. He left me a message on my phone... but seems he did not call the managers here at work, so he is going to get chewed out I am sure. He deserves it too, he just got back from vacation for 4 days and then calls in sick when he is supposed to be back...hmmmmmmmm. *thinks* Free extra day of vacation? Thank you! Ah well, nothing I can do. So, I am back here alone for a few hours. No trucks to check in yet... doooo de doooo... I'm going to go break the toilet with what McDonnald's breakfast did to my digetstive system. :P