or, at least, i hope. swearing all over the place if it happened again i would be gone, i'm still here. call it love, call it a lack of will power. i hope, i dream, and i pray this kind of thing won't ever happen again. i never feel worse than when you do what you threatened. the only thing that comes to close to making me feel that bad is when we fight. i wish this was all a stream of words, just pouring out and getting it out, but instead there's a long pause between sentences; as if each one is a paragraph, separate from the last, with no transitions. i do love you, i do. i've never fought so fiercely with anyone, this is new to me, and it's hard to adjust, it's harder for me to listen. but i'll try, very hard, to hear and and adhere to what you're saying. i just hope you do the same.