you're going to have to talk first. since i'm too scared. it's up to you where things go. little trips outside of reality, so bad for one's health, make me feel like it's not so bad. being able to focus on something that isn't going to go away or trick me into thinking i won't get hurt. at least i know where the relationship always stands. that it doesn't care if i get hurt but it's there if i need it and it's not lying to me.