I feel so close to being alone.All my friends have seem to run away from me, I still have Nathan and Krista. They seem like the only ones. Everyone else has their own people, their own seperate crowd that doesn't seem to involve me but once in a while when they want me. I'm a second hand friend in many(almost too many) ways. Oh!My "other best friend" isn't here? I think I'll stand with you then. Like an old rag doll I am pushed aside until barbie's head falls off. I don't enjoy it. I want a true friend, not a loser who thinks of me as lower class. I won't accept it because you know what? It hurts....bad. On a more realistic note, I'm going to be going to see my family this afternoon for a get together. 4 new babies to cuddle! How exciting. I have to clean basically all day though. I got an early start so I could finish early then go shopping around here for a gift and for some spring and summer clothing. Tomorrow I go to the Canipe(dance) recital. Since I'm not in it this year, I get to view it. How depressing. I want to go back SO SO BAD. I miss tapping my heart out and competiting with Tonya's. As scary as it is I miss the pain of toeshoes. I don't know if I'll get to do it or not. My family and I haven't really discussed it very much. I'm scared of what they'll say. I wish dad would get a job. Things would be so much better. We wouldn't have to worry about things and I would go back to dance and actually have a car to drive maybe. I just wish I could go back in time to my child hood. I loved those days of hide and go seek and playing all day on my bike with no care in the world. How wonderful it was. But since I can't do that then I'll have to live with where I am now and keep pushing and praying. Better get back to cleaning if I want to go shop. Catch ya later. leave nice ones.