One of my friend's said I reminded him of David Banner ( that was his name on the tv show not Bruce) from the Hulk tv show. I started this pattern long ago since I was 13 when I left for Chicago for the summer. As a way to get away from it all. I missed friends, family members, I was around nothing familiar. That was the first time it hit me harder than any other time in my life. Yeah, I dealt with it as much as any kid that age could. But there was that added concern that where I stayed at death was at every turn. This was more prevalent when I took out the trash. As soon as I had opened the back door There were 6 cop cars outside. I could see a police man stretching out the yellow crime scene tape. I overlooked the alley, looking to see what people were looking at.I was puzzled as to what was going on. I then saw a naked woman lying on the stairwell outside of a abandoned two story house. She looked quite attractive. It then hit me when I saw a policeman put a sheet over the woman's body. The concept of death I knew well. But knowing it as simply a bystander watching aftermath. That was another matter. I thought this is how quickly we can all leave. But we all leave whether we like it or not, be it by force or choice. The only thing that's good is when you leave by choice you have the option to say your good byes, and however long it takes for you to say them. I got to admit though, Yeah I would want more than anything to stay in one place. Some place to belong. Not that I need the validity of others for that. But belonging in a place where I feel comfortable. That whenever I am in that particular location, a subtle smile overcomes me. That the place it self is my reason. But I haven't come across that yet. I guess stuff like this takes years who knows. If that is the case I'll find out. Soon enough, but even if I don't I was still determined to find that place.