I got out of the Army this past April. I got my disability, good thing I started on that before I left. I'm at my aunts place. That woman has been nothing but kind to me. Which is why anything she asks of me is done without question. I haven't talked to my sister that is close to my age since April 2008 or my younger sister that's in uni now since June of last year. Slowly but surely I'm am losing connections to people in my life. Do I miss that? No not at all. More and more a burden I become. Erica you changed, it's why I have no real desire to contact you. You pretty much wrote me off when I told you I was going to Afghanistan in 20012. Which coincidentally was when you got with your now boyfriend. People change they always do. I feel like I am a relic now.
Memories of a persons past. All I hear is remember when we.... Yeah, I'm irrelevant now which is why I hardly talk to them anymore. When I got here I after I got out I thought the one friend that would never turn me away did. Sadly was cause of a woman. Like another friend I knew for 20 years. He's on an entry here if your interested. I thought he would be around forever too. My faith in people is at an all time low. I'm just filled with apathy for people I know mostly. Even my brother, I have failed him too. Fuck everyone just about. But I'm here, I gave a homeless lady 5 bucks while waiting for the bus. She thought I wasn't listening because I was on the phone.
It's sad, I feel more hope for and compassion for strangers that have less than I do. Than for people I know in my life. Because I feel that one day they will cast me a side or betray me. I'm looking forward to starting school next year with my GI Bill from the military. I'm done with knowing people, or getting to know them, fucking disappointment the lot of them. Just I can graduate and leave this motherfucker.
I had hope when I came, I really looked forward to seeing my friend. Hell, even staying in Texas but fuck it, fuck him and just about fuck it all. I'm just going to live my life doing what I want to do.
1. Go to Japan, preferably Shinjuku
2. Have a threesome
3. Build something that everyone will use
4. Live in another country
5. Chill at a nudist colony for vacation
There's more stuff but it's all I can think of. Well peace out people