u know how u can delete people off ur myspace?? well its my space and my life why can't i just click somthing and everything be okay ! i want me to be happy and high on life not low on shit i mean i am always looking on the brighter side always but then i think ...... why can't i smile ..this time i could always find a way yeah they r doing jsut for the fun of it i know that but its like .....humm they always look for ways to piss people off well they did and i just made them happy that horrible! on so many levels why am i like that er.. so retarted !! i can't beleive i let someone put me down i let down my gard about 6 months ago and got to soft and now i'm back where i was a year ago this is the most err time of my life why can't my mom behere why can't any one behere?? i want i need someone really bad! why can't she or any one be here when i need some one in my life why when i need a mom or family there not there but when i don't need them there on me like butter and if u kno butter it slides of and does its own thing so right now is the worst time in my life cus i have NO ONE yes i have friends and i thank u all for being there but ite not really there u know cus i need people at home i have always been that il depenant princess and i guess i had to grow up but now tat i can live a lil on my own why is it that every thing else goes down why is that i need my family to be here i need somting to be here cus my self estem is too low and i jsut want to have some one i hate life and i use the hate word too that even worse why can't it jsut be easy ..........oh yeah cus its life and grow up ..right well maybe i should jsut go eat somthing .......fuck everyone who has put me thro hell the past 3 months i can say compeltely has been the worst and the BESt time in my life the every thing the experionce the giggles the"LOVE" or whatever growing up i guess u can call i thank him for only that b/c i needed to know what it was really like i knoe now but its like from here where???