at school on my monday so i am in english but i came to the libary..hmm.. i am thinking alot this weeekend has been somewhat odd i say very odd kinda eh.. guys come to play in this 'odd' weekend alot began with brian just because we had just ended 2 weeks before and it was over 'distance' or was it....i am not sure but then this other guy comes around who i am friends with right and it just happends that i thought there was a connection...member somewhat thought thought thought doesn't get you anywhere at ALL its crazy i thought oh no it just a weekend thing and it was real commfy and stuff so then this weekend came along and he was stright up dick then what so i was crushed but thing was i had no feelings earlier untill everyone started sayin oo0o so whats going on ? how is it? is there somthing there? hmm and got all these qeustions in my head so my thinking said maybe you like this fool so the day i let that in made things worse because he became an assshhhooooooooooolllllllllllllllleeeeee and i don't know what to say with that i guess it just bummed me out..alot...then my ex comes around ahh oh shit and tries some stuff and i guess it was for the better because i am like eh now about it i never wonder anymore about how he still feels so yeh thats night but then brian comes back from him hatin me because i guess danh said that iw as alllover jimmmy..psh... but yeh so then he came back and even though we are not together at this time he still hurts me because i can't get otta my head if he is playing me and vivian at the same time and what also bothers me is that he still has a lil hold on me i don['t know why this is my birthday tme thought i should be soo happy buut i amm just blah but i am happy i am talking to brian its just that vivian what the fuck is with that vivian is ahh makes me go crazy i do don't hate her at all its that she hates me for no reason at all what is with that shouldn't i hate her...she took my boy so i should not like her but i am just fakin it i guess for now and just pretening it doesn't bother me but how it does and the fact that brian is hinding that he talks to me on the phone to her! ahh hurts me on the in the side s much it like beyoind lame i gues over all i am just very hurt from all the boys in my life at this time..and i don't know i just want a boy but doesn't alot of girls want that too so what should i say..nothing to say.. its just something lame that just happend to happend and now its nothing i want someone just someone to all the time someone wheni wanted to share somthing with and a guy who i can be a great friend with that just happend to love me too at the time.. i t hought maybe i could have that with one boy but he hurt me too fuck all this shit...sjhit i tell you but hey 16 i am gonna be 16 in like only 6 more days! yay i guess but now its like my party what happends when brian comes if he comes and jimmy too what is gonna happen and then like i am mad at alot guys right now like danhbecause i think he lied to me and alan because of other shit ahhh i ams just jhdfgjdfhrikjfhhrbdugjhj