gah new entry happy?

well um shit has beeen going down i am not sure i am actually reallly happy you know okay same as my blog in myspace i have no idea i am soo fucking over things sometimes i am like why? i fucking hate school too. todaythe weather sucked so much fucking dickhole.and it hurts the internet hurts i don't know i just get over it aim is over it i am over myspace i am over most things in life i wanna go in turtle hole agian maybe after i get away and spend time with my mommy and familythings will be better things always gett better right? i hope this time i guess things have gotten better that i have notice but not the way things were i wanna go back to whatthings were like a year ago maybe i just wish we were all happy and if we had lovers that they stayed with you and they kept there promises? i want that i want my promise to really be real i get all this promises but what he Kept none . none that i know . sometimes i stay awake at nite and try to piece all this together i like why and why that and this such as like okay what bad thing did i do to get this? i gotten my amand aback and i have my beth abck but not to sound greedy i want more i wanna best friend agian were i hang out with them alllll the FuCKKKIng time and with them none stop like a sister or a brother i just want that i mean i have like really good bffs like Jo but its like i love people too much and i mean Bryan ? my best guy who has alwAys have beenn there for me and he was my warmth with i was cold(haha thats so true tho like on rainy days) bryan is goinging away like no T.O. but fucking Geogia? i can't i don't i never relized how much every one does and the memeroirs i have with him gahhhh i love him so much i feel so icky he is really leaving *people always leave* but why can't they ALL come back i want alota of things to come back thats alll i want i want alot of my special people back into my life even if we had the worst i misss them soooo terrilbleeeyyy or however you spell it i just want them back i want waht i had last year i had everything EVERyTHing ..a boy and a BEst fRiend and they loved me and ahh i just wanna go back i can't wait .... i wanna so much ew i am greeddy but i have stuff now i have a boy and he is so sweeet i don't think he can hurt me this one can't that i know of yet and don't forget about us but i worte kidna were i am stil thinking about my jew and i always think baout him AlWays and it fucking sucks i can't even hurt brian either i think ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww fuck me and die
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